Taylor, Not all marriages will be saved....you have to remember that this is only a small group compared to what is in the real world....success is not always measured by reconciling. Success can also be measured in your survival, self-confidence, self-worth and above all else...finding you again. Each and every person that posts here is a success story in their own right whether they save their marriage or not.
No one knows what the future holds....some are divorced now, others may reunite w/their former spouses years down the road, some leave the board and then reconcile, others reconcile while posting here and then leave to work on their marriages.
Do not make assume anything by the number of postings...only you will know what is right for you when the time comes.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
snodderly..why the car insurance change? the others make sense but not that one. My car is in his name too. It would be a red flag for me to ask that we have it switched over. he would think i was plotting against him or something. Little does he realize I love him with all my heart. i would need to find some plan for health insc too. at least until I got a job.
His Ow says that she won't have anything to do with him while he's married. At least that what he says that she says. if that's the case, why wouldn't she just let it go? It would be so much easier for us to start moving forward instead of this limbo, if she would just let go..or if he would..or if I would.
and is it normal to think that I am wasting precious time waiting for something that may never happen.. when at my age, since life is so short..I should be out there finding someone who i can grow old with? I mean it's not like I'm going to get Divorced and then run right out and start dating again, but man i really miss the intimacy.
Gees, that sounds so shallow. i am actually not even looking forward to dating at all..there are so many creeps out there. But I do know that I enjoy the company of a companion and I hate to sound like a perv or anything, but i do like to have sex sometimes too. It takes awhile to find someone that you would want to have a relationship with too. But then again, God has some kind of plan for me..i wish He'd give me a clue, cause i can't figure out what He wants me to do.
A reality of MLC is that even if this ow completely lets go your H will probably look for another band aid while in Replay.
I think it's entirely normal to have thoughts that you may be wasting your time. I've had those thoughts, too.
You know what? I have figured out that I'm really not wasting my time because I'm using it to work on me and to navigate through my own journey. I'm going to be ready for my new R, (if I'm blessed again) whether it's with my H or someone else.
Hope I didn't offend you. I was just thinking that if you had a certain amount for a household budget you could figure out ways to cut corners and put away the savings in case of emergency.
Not saying your H would do anything like this but there are horror stories on here where the LBS was left penniless and homeless.
and is it normal to think that I am wasting precious time waiting for something that may never happen.. when at my age, since life is so short..I should be out there finding someone who i can grow old with? I mean it's not like I'm going to get Divorced and then run right out and start dating again, but man i really miss the intimacy.
I think it's normal and I can see where age could be a factor. My only caution would be to make sure you are really done with him before you go this route. Not only for yourself, but you could hurt someone else.
Sometimes the loneliness sneaks up on me and feels like a weight. Mostly these days, I have ways of coping with it. I get out and go do something fun (even when my heart may not be into it at first). Just being out and about in the world makes me grateful.
It's easier to hear possibilities when you H isn't the focus.
listen. yes life is short. and all I can tell you is that I went through the ringer this last 12 months. and listen to everything these people tell you. they are amazing. and they know what this is all about.
all I can say is it takes time... but you have more control over your life and your own happiness than you realize. but you will have to go through this process on your own at your own pace.
the sooner you can emotionally detatch yourself from your H the better. the way to do this, I found, was to try and make new friends and build a life for myself that did not have anything to do with my W. this was really hard. and it took me a year. I stalled because I did not want to face reality. the reality is that you actually do not need your husband.
and don't feel bad about wanting to have sex! you are human for jehova's sake.
not saying that you should act on it... just saying that you should not feel bad about it.
