My wife of 4 years and been together about 6, woke up on June 8th and said she was not in love with me anymore and just not happy. I was floored we had never fought or argued until that day. I begged her even cried my eyes out saying I'd make things right if she stayed. Well she stayed that night but the next day had me take her to the father in laws. She since has came and went a few times and also letting our two kids 4 and 2 stay the night with me. We started counseling thru church and a professional, I'm continuing she stopped. On June 20th fathers day she had stayed about 4 days nights prior and was in agreement to stay for two weeks. She left and then filed a restraining order, will not let me see nor talk to my kids nothing. (In the course of one of her trips back home I found some risque texts messages on her phone to some cop guy) I asked her about it and I even texted him back when he asked what she was doing said "Im working on saving my marriage". So I think she is using the system to her advantage to keep me at bay from finding out more details. She als then has filed for divorce on June 23rd. Ive sent cards, emails etc even before her leaving for good on the 20th. Her reason for falling out of love was that I worked to much and would not let her work and we moved to much. Yes we moved 4 times in 6 years cause she always wanted bigger and better. I never kept her form working I just thought she wanted to be a stay at home mom.. (Beside the two kids together we have 4 children of mine her step kids). I'm still having a real hard time dealing with all of this. She did tell me earlier she didnt feel like she could trust me long term to help change things and really did not want for us to have a second chance... I have sent her cards, songs,emails you name it begging and pleading to save our marriage for us and the kids but all I get now is talk to my attorney.
I'm 36 she is 24 she also has had a uncontroled thyroid (low) she will not take her meds as directed. So I'm wondering if maybe she has a chemical in balance going on besides all the stress of money and such.. I have a job and always had a job if not two or three of them.. One thing I didnt do cause money was real tight I only got her a rose and gave her big hugs and kisses for mothers day, and for her birthday just happy birthday hugs and kisses and such.. She sites that as a reason as well.. Right now I do not see any type of hope she wont even talk to my kids which she loved and cared for cause there real mom is not around. I see there are some similar situations here, is there any hope? How do I deal with this every day I cry at least once a day thinking about my two little kids and her. She also has set up new facebook and email accounts so I can not see or communicate that way.
Well any opinions or anything is greatly appreciated
Sounds very familiar and many of us here have seen very similar circumstances. I would also suggest you post your story in the newcommers section as that area sees the most traffic.
A great start would be to stop what you are doing, step back and educate yourself. Read Divorce Remedy, ask specific questions of the experienced members here (see sandi's, robx and gucci's posts). Perpare yourself for the rollercoaster ride and start disconnecting and working on yourself.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
Very similar sitch. The RO may have been suggested by OM(cop) as a way to keep you out if the picture while he gets implanted with your W. My W left in November last year and by December was talking divorce. I told her I was against it and she kind of sat on it. In march, she filed, but it was done incorrectly so the state doesn't recognize it. If your desire us to save your marriage, you must slow down the divorce process. There is much guilt and she thinks that by quickly divorcing you, the guilt of being an cheater will go away.
This is going to be a painful time because they RO ties your hand. Right now, that is going to frustrate you but you will come to see it as a blessing. You must detach emotionally from her right now to get your bearings and to clearly think about what you want to do.
Because of the RO, there isn't much you can do for your M, so put your focus on you and the kids.
Stay on the boards, there is much help and support here for you.
