Ya roles did switch I could make excuse after excuse as to why but it boils down to doing something diffrent. I was always doing Things my way and not really reassuring her when she needed it, guess in a sense I'm trying to be nicer than what I use to be( which is my 180 because I come across as a cold person untill I decide to open up) and it's actually opening a lot of " doors" for me at the moment. The cat food sadly ya a stupid budget for what I can spend for our cats why'd I agree with that? Because I didn't feel like arguing with her over something petty.
Just who she was. Always had to know where and how much I spent on items, if I spent "x" on an item shed always say that if I had went here and done this or that it would only be "y" . Which drove me to a point I stopped informing her of stuff I bought. So by having an agreed budget I get it from wherever without really needing to hear the song and dance routine, she gets her reassuance of me informing her, really I thought it was a sort of "win win".
Quick update. She's coming by on Sunday getting cats and some really minor stuff. Her mothers coming with her so Im hoping some good general conversation can naturally happen. Side note I found out that because of how she ended up leaving, her family and her feel uncomfortable being around me. Even though I really don't understand their view points as I've never yelled at her before like that and theirs never been any type of abuse but I'm thinking sunday will be a great oppurtunity to make them feel welcomed .
Wanted to thank Gucci and Puppy on the"being strong" suggestions this weekend without really trying to be I successfully succeded in properly telling her no about several things and her reaction was completly diffrent than how it was before( in a really good way). Both her and her mother commented on it, so thank you for that bit of insight. Guess I'm back to being dark with her for a few weeks.
Have skimmed your thread and just wanted to give a quick (((hug))) - will try to catch up and write something useful as soon as possible.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Things are going. Been focusing on changing my outlook on life improving me and letting things go from their. I am becoming the fun outgoing person I use to be so many years ago. Trying here and their to get out of this semi-dark stage with her since I know that if I don't try I'll be in this cheeseless tunnel for longer than needed. I realized she needs time to herself to deal with her emotions but at the same time me not communicating was an issue, so slowly testing and retreating. And realizing theirs almost nothing I can say or do at the present time that will change her mind, that will be solely on her and I actually feel fine about that( she knows without a doubt my feelings on my marriage and Friendship) overall I'm grateful for what happened without it I'd most likely still be doing the same things that were making me unhappy, if that makes any sense.
