Panic attacks and the price?

[AntoniaB]

I am coming to the realization that it is the limbo of sitting back and doing nothing but wait that is causing me to have panic attacks. I am having an awful time getting through the night; I am listening to guided imagery cds constantly to calm me down. I feel like the reason that I am panicky is that I just keep lying there thinking "what if" about virtually everything, and there is a part of me that says I have to conquer that type of thinking because that was the thing that really fed my part in our problems. No I'm not taking on all the issues myself but I take 50% responsibility. I want to conquer it because if I do, maybe I can get him back. But the other part of me thinks that if it were just final and I petitioned for divorce, I could stop the what ifs. It would be out there on the table and there would be finality. Problem is that I don't think it's fair that he pushed me into a corner to declare divorce because I still believe there is hope.

But the "hope" I hold on to I feel is what causes the what if scenarios, and that is causing panic attacks which are interfering with my ability to sleep much at all and really horrible to go through.

Do I declare divorce, even if it's not what I want, to stop the panic? Do I go get medicated to stop the panic? The last time I was on an anti-d and valium for the first week or so. Then I weaned myself off it. I am not really wanting to be on pres. drugs because I'm afriad they will become yet another crutch.

[AntoniaB]

Meaning the last time he and I were separated I was on pres. d. for a bit, but we were separated before due to him saying the problem was him and he was messed up and needed space, while this time he says the problem is that he thinks he wants someone else, so it's like a different scenario now that an EA is part of it.

[AntoniaB]

Ok I think I have to take care of me first and right now, in the present moments, I can't handle this. I am going to my doctor today to get a prescription. The lack of sleep and not eating is surely catching up with me after 5 days and the guided imagery cds or coming on here and writing are not enough to help. I need help. I think I need to recognize that I'm a "what-if-er" and even if I petition for divorce to feel that there is finally a decision made, I'll probably "what if" that too.

[elvencat]

I am coming to the realization that it is the limbo of sitting back and doing nothing but wait that is causing me to have panic attacks.

I used to have constant panic attacks years ago and I suffer from Major Depression.. I am on a maintenance dosage of Paxil for this, but I, like you, have tried many ways of stopping the attacks so that I don't have to be on medication. I just posted this for SunnyD.. if you want to try it when the thoughts get to you....

1. Mentally throw up a Stop Sign. I'm a photographer.. very visual person.. this is my way of stopping my thought process in its tracks.
2. I distract my brain with something new... checking out the tv, hopping on the computer to check the weather.. anything but going back to the train wreck.
3. If the train wreck weasels its way back in before my brain is completely distracted... I get physical. Go for a walk, turn on some music and dance... heck I've even encouraged DD to play rough with me just to get the good fun energy flowing.

In short.. in with the good out with the bad. The hard part is recognizing when you need to do it.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Ant,
You will have sleepness nights.
Try to get some form of exercise and what I did was I started to drink herbal teas to reduce stress. YOGI and Celestial Seasonings makes a stress rudeuction and a sleepy time tea.

Try those before going back on presc. drugs.

[happywithchange]

Cognitive behavior therapy. It's the only thing that worked for me. And it changed my life in more ways than panic. You can use the tools you learn in every aspect of life. CBT, find it in your area, and do it!

First figure out what you are so afraid of since it's all fear based. I was afraid of dying because I knew I hadn't been taking care of my self. But I couldn't take care of myself because I was having so many panic attacks and suffering from depression too. Mostly what fixed me was stopping alcohol, exercising, and learning how to notice subconscious thoughts as they enter into conscious thought. And interfering with them.

Force a panic attack on yourself. Get your self all worked up in that nervous state and bring it on. Face that fear. Take it ALL the way. As you are doing this notice every change going on in your physiology. The sweating the heart palpitations and increased pulse the numbing toes and fingers, the dizziness. Watch as each step comes. But picture yourself sitting outside yourself watching it all happen. Something happens when you do that. You are so busy keeping track of what's going on, that you interfere with the process itself. Your distracted and it stops the attack.

It's crazy I know and next to possible for me to explain. IF It even starts to happen to me I jsut laugh at it now. Oh look you are trying to start again. I see you coming. And it stops right there. I own my fear now. Not the other way around.

Whether you think that you can, or think that you can't, you are RIGHT!.

Thought drives action, if you think you are going to have a panic attack, I guarantee you will. What ever you do don't try and rationalize. That doesn't work. You have to interfere. Get in the way. You have to learn to pay attention to the clues the clues of you talking to yourself. It's all just a script in your head that plays over and over again. Re-write the damn script. Insert something into and and practice it until it's second nature.

yes these are the ramblings of a madman. But a madman that hasn't had an attack in 8 months after having them for 10 yrs.