Good advice, but isn't that in a way giving the cheating spouse permission to continue the affair, and sending a message that you're willing to tolerate the affair?
Good advice, but isn't that in a way giving the cheating spouse permission to continue the affair, and sending a message that you're willing to tolerate the affair?
No. This should be your response to anything LEGAL, or when they try to engage you in a detailed R convo. Your position of "What you're doing is destructive to our family, and I WILL not live in an open marriage" should be repeated often, and never wavered from.
"(Wife), look, this is YOUR idea, not mine. I do not want a divorce. If that's what you want, I won't stop you, but I'm not going to sign any divorce or legal separation papers without first running them by my attorney, and I'm just not prepared to discuss that right now. What you're doing by having an affair is not only incredibly disrespectful to ME, and to our MARRIAGE, but it's also destructive to our FAMILY. I won't live in an open marriage, but I'm not going to sign something that's not in my best interests. Now, I have to run and (insert GAL activity here). We'll talk more about this later."
And I would just do that for in person challenges... I would IGNORE text messages completely... They are passive aggressive and cowardly
If they try to push divorce or legal on you, you walk away
If they confront you further you can give them the script pup offered above
Ignore OR offer them your routine... alternate
Rinse and repeat - often
Oh, yeah, by definition, b/c you'll be routinely ignoring all non-essential (like kids-related) e-mails and text messages and voicemails . . . right Antonia???
Brilliant! Think this finally makes clear to me how to get message across about importance of marriage and not tolerating affair while simultaneously not going full speed toward divorce. Thanks!
