I was just wondering, Ive read thread after thread of very similar stories as mine. Basically one spouse wants out of the M, the other desperately wants to save the M. For the one that wants to save the M, its just an awful rollercoaster ride - but Im not really finding any stories where a M was saved, or I am missing them -
Its seems like you just have to accept what is happening and deal with it, as time goes on, I am really losing hope. It just seems to me the writing is on the wall so to speak and a D is just the inevitable. I know that goes against the entire purpose of DBing ...I'm curious to know.
Me 44 H 39 Met in 1998 Married in 2004 D 5, twins Bomb - May 16th, 2010
"Don't let Tomorrow or Yesterday get in the way of Today"
There are plenty of success stories. Their sitches don't get much activity as those of us trying to work on M.
If everything worked out for out tomorrow would you be here next week?
Maybe, Maybe not.
Just
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Also what I am learning is that DBing is for yourself too. At least you will know in your heart that you did everything, tried everything to make it work and if it ends you can walk away with pride and dignity because you took the high road. That is how I feel about it. I think many people get to a place of peace (or that is the goal) that they are DBing and want to be with their spouse again but learn to GAL. Learning that life can and will go on and they can be happy and productive without spouse as sad as it may be.
Just my two cents.
This forum has offered me an amazing amount of support. If you still believe in your marriage - keep coming back!
Also what I am learning is that DBing is for yourself too. At least you will know in your heart that you did everything, tried everything to make it work and if it ends you can walk about with pride and dignity because you took the high road. That is how I feel about it. I think many people get to a place of peace (or that is the goal) that they are DBing and want to be with their spouse again but learn to GAL and life can and will go on and can be happy and productive without spouse.
This too, right on the money.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Im just beginning to feel I am fighting a losing battle, the therapy we did this week end only seemed to validate my W wanting to separate, even tho she's has yet to move out, I feel like im miles away from her.
Before we went I was reading her some different things from this site, and it seemed to have an impact on her, she even ask me to print them for her.
I know I need to do for myself, but so hard to see past what I knew as 'my life and my family' slipping away.
Me 44 H 39 Met in 1998 Married in 2004 D 5, twins Bomb - May 16th, 2010
"Don't let Tomorrow or Yesterday get in the way of Today"
Before we went I was reading her some different things from this site, and it seemed to have an impact on her, she even ask me to print them for her.
Yipes! I don't think this is a good idea. I'm surprised she was at all receptive to it, to be honest, but I wouldn't go to that well again. Don't give her the play book - that's one thing (kinda joking there - but not really) and also, passing on reading material is a major pressure tactic. You may not have seen it as such, but I would if I were her. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Coach was a DB ninja who won Greek's heart and mind back. Greek
And what a beautiful mind you have too.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
