Not to be too dramatic here, but I believe these fantasy affairs can be dangerous. True, I watch a lot of true detective shows, but there has been more than one instance of a man having an imaginary affair and injuring, to put it mildly, his wife who he imagines is standing in the way.
I just wonder what it is about these people that they seem to be unable to live in the real world.
Let's face it: any adult recognizes that all Rs start with the hearts and flowers...but things like cleaning, kids, and work, interfering family, etc., are just part of the picture of reality. In MLC, somehow this doesn't seem to register and no matter what, this person is the focal point of all that is pure and good.
I do believe my ex did not grow up and this whole deal is necessary for him to finish that process. For me there has been a growing up process as well.
The difference, I believe, is that I am aware of where I am with that process and I am trying to foster the personal growth, while ex fights it at every turn.
I'll add that the personal growth is difficult and sometimes fun, sometimes now.
Last edited by forward; 08/08/1007:42 PM.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I have not been on in a while. There have been a few developements along the way. My H had been talking for a couple of months about changing his job. Well 2 weeks ago he did just that. He up and quit on a Friday 2 hours before that end of his shift. H told them just how he felt about working there. THey begged him for the 2 hours and in the end said no he was leaving.
I do think that he left so that he could get over OW and work on us but, I do think that he has wanted to leave for quite some time and that it may have helped his MLC along, with of course OW there too. H had been seemingly happy these last two weeks and seems almost better than before.(maybe it's just me wishing) Time will tell. I have been 100% supportive. I have picked up our Insurance at my job as his new work does not offer any. He is working with a contractor that he worked on the side for before and loving it. Nothing is mentioned about OW or R and H has been very attentive and considerate of me.
Maybe just Maybe H may be finding his way back. SHHHHHHH don't want to jynx it.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Seeking Thank you. This has been a very long road and I understand that H still has a lot to work on but for the first time in a long time I feel things are different in a way I haven't felt since H's MLC came out.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Things are still going well and I think H might be settling in a bit. He has mentioned nothing about his MLC feelings and I am going to assume he won't so I am sure that I will be working through all of my thoughts on my own. Hopefully I will be able to get through this without answers from H as I have the feeling that he doesn't know what happened(is happening) him self.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
