No matter what stage your sitch is at, I am sure you have been doing some things right and creating positive change for yourself! That is what DBing is all about. This thread is for you to post some of your successes, to help you remember them and focus on them.... to keep you PMA up.
So, I will start the ball rolling....
-I took good care of my kids and my home during a crisis and when I was often alone -I did not do anything irrational or stupid, even in the face of betrayal and abandonment - I learned to set boundaries and maintain them (and am still working on this!) - I became stronger emotionally - I learned to take care of myself and make myself a priority - I learned to GAL - I reached out to this support system and made the most amazing friends I could have ever imagined - I maintained my employment even while under tremendous emotional stress - I acknowledged my own mistakes in my M and I forgave myself for them - I am working on forgiving my H and the OW - I stood my ground on my non-negotiables - I did not give in to temptations of revenge - I sought IC for myself - I have learned a lot and continue to keep learning - I am willing to grow, change, and take action to improve my sitch
There are many more successes for me... the list grows and grows every day! Yours will too. Keep track of them, and start listing them here on this thread.
This thread is for you to post some of your successes, to help you remember them and focus on them.... to keep you PMA up.
Phoebe the Wonder Lab was key to my PMA. Always ready for a walk, wrestle, play fetch or go to the river. Sometimes it was 3 or 4 walks a day at odd hours. She was always eager to spend time with me. She is still a great dog.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
-I took good care of my kids and my home during a crisis and when I was often alone I am -I did not do anything irrational or stupid, even in the face of betrayal and abandonment I did, but have learned that lesson - I learned to set boundaries and maintain them (and am still working on this!) I am learning - I became stronger emotionally everday - I learned to take care of myself and make myself a priority I am - I learned to GAL I am - I reached out to this support system and made the most amazing friends I could have ever imagined I am - I maintained my employment even while under tremendous emotional stress I am - I acknowledged my own mistakes in my M and I forgave myself for them I have and I am - I have learned a lot and continue to keep learning Yes - I am willing to grow, change, and take action to improve my sitch I am
(((hugs)))
H 38 W 34 M 7/98 Bomb 2/19/10 D 7 S 5 Still under same roof
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
I can't say that I haven't been irrational at times, maybe even driving some of my family a little crazy...I must admit, but as the days go by and I keep reading all of your stories and advice....I can say
-I have become focused on the future and look forward to making a good life for me and my daughter. -I have learned to accept that although me and my H may not be together he is still my daughters dad and I have to accept that and not say mean or negative things about him in front of my daughter. - I maintained my employment, even when there were times that I wanted to just stay in bed and not go to work, even if I had to go to work with red swollen eyes from crying and lack of sleep. -I spent as much time with my daughter taking her out to different places and having fun with her when I would have loved to just stay in bed again! - I have learned to take a step back and think about the situation before I react. - I have learned that it is ok to let go - I have recognized my faults and am working on them through this site, self help books and will be going to counseling soon. - I am willing to grow, change and take action to improve ME, so I can be the best mommy for my daughter.
Me30 H38 D6 Married for 7 years Relationship before marriage 3 years Husband is sending me on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
I admit to absolutely soul-crushing thoughts, mind-numbing despair as well as fits of rage and thoughts of revenge...
I find that the challenge is whether or not you can think “happy thoughts” in the face of a struggle...
It’s not so easy to face down injustice, sadness, depression, and hatred with a sense of peace and a wise smile. It takes incredible strength and fortitude to do that and I would often fail miserably.
In the past year I have learned so much, I have been guided by people He put on my path and I will forever be thankful for each of you...
No need to mention names because you all know who you are...
I am happy with being me.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I surrender my worry and fears to my Father above.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I am learning more about who I was, who I am and who He wants to be.
I am confident.
I am beautiful.
There is, nor will there ever be anyone like me.
I have unique gifts to offer the world.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Reminds me of the immortal words of Judge Smails -
Quote:
It's easy to grin, When your ship comes in, And you've got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile, Is the man who can smile, When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Reminds me of the immortal words of Judge Smails -
Quote:
It's easy to grin, When your ship comes in, And you've got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile, Is the man who can smile, When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
"Spalding, get your foot off the boat!"
Best movie ever!
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
I stood up to a controlling woman and I have joint custody of my kids. All the responsibilities that got stired up in my marriage, are now back where they belong. I am responsible for my life, my choices, my relationship with my kids and others, and the consequences of all my choices.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
