The adventure chronicles--moving on

[EnoughAlready]

John,

I've been following your posts mainly because your situation is similar to mine. XH and I are both fairly recently retired AF (me E-8, XH E-7). XH was just like your ex--everything was about him, what he wanted and what made him happy. Finally, I decided I deserved better, so I left.

Believe me, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever had to do because I loved him, but I am glad now that I did it (I moved 1,600 miles away). I don't know if it was the military in me, but I always knew I was going to be OK no matter what. It took a few months, but I got to the point where I didn't think about him all the time and was actually happy being by myself. Then I met this guy, and guess what, he’s the total opposite of my ex! I’m glad I didn’t settle for what I had before, because I am now in the kind of relationship I’ve always wanted.

I can understand that you’re lonely, but it will get easier especially after you and your daughter move. Enjoy your single status for now and don’t rush into another relationship. And don’t look for her, let her find you! I’m sure a nice guy like you will meet someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated soon enough!

Oh yeah, I wouldn’t bother telling your XW to just e-mail and stop calling—don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that you’re still hurting. Instead, show her that you’ve moved on and you’re doing OK. And you know what, you are doing OK and will continue to be OK. Good luck on the move and belated congratulations on making Senior.

[AFWAW]

Enough,
I know you've been following all along and thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I cannot wait to move. It sounds like you've had some hard times but are doing well now. I'm glad.

Here's to not settling! Cheers!!

[marriedCrazy]

Good Luck AF!!

It's been a while since I posted or even came to this site; but was just lurking around. Glad to see you're breaking free of your crap! I'm jealous actually; cause I'm still in mine.

Tucson is a great town and DM is a great base. You guys will love being there!

mC

[AFWAW]

Ugh, I know I'm divorced but my ex-wife's behavior seems totally inappropriate regarding her boyfriend and my daughter. She called today to ask my daughter if it was ok if she invited her BF on the cruise she is taking my daughter on this summer. Way inappropriate to me. Yes it hurts but I'm trying not to focus on that aspect.

I'm more concerned with my daughter being exposed to close quarters with a man that I don't know. Thoughts on this? It doesn't suprise me a bit about the BF but it seems that my ex is going a bit over the top.

[AFWAW]

Been a while since I've updated. Since my divorce on 2 Jun, my ex has had a guy move in w/ her and is supposedly going to marry him? Whatever, I don't care about. The problem I have is my daughter is over there for the 5 weeks visitation for the summer and she is living in contact w/ this person that I don't know.

My ex emailed the other day on Facebook and sent me a friend request. This is what it said: Would you let daughter stay here through her first semester of school? I really hope you and I can be civil. You still mean a lot to me. Thank you for taking such good care of daughter. She dropped the F bomb on me a couple of times so I'll be making sure she gets some church attendance in over the next couple of weeks.

I had my daughter for this weekend and she told me that she confronted her mother about the guy staying with her and told her she thought it was inappropriate. My ex asked my daughter if she wanted her to ask him to leave. She said, yes and the ex told her, well I'm not going to do that. She told my daughter she was going to marry him. My daughter said, oh you lied to me about getting married again. She responded, well, I've known this guy for a while. My daughter said, Oh, yet another lie--you told me you only knew him for 2 weeks. Ex asked daughter--why do you call Daddy every night--daughter--because I love him and want him to know I'm ok. Ex--why don't you call me? Daughter--I called you 5 times last weekend and you didn't answer one call. Ex--I was out of town and didn't have coverage. Daughter--hmmm, that's funny, everytime I call someone that doesn't have coverage it usually goes right to voice mail. ex--Well, I guess I didn't hear the phone. How many freaking lies can she tell?????

The ex came to get my daughter last night and brings her BF to my house? He was riding his motorcycle and stayed in the street and didn't look my way. The ex made a big scene and basically told me to go f myself.

So, after all of this I responded to her email from the previous day with the following(I probably shouldn't have as I don't want her to think I care but right now I'm mainly pissed because of my daughter being in contact w/ a strange man.:

Daughter will not be staying here through her first semester. She and I will be leaving in Oct as planned.

As far as you and I being civil, well, I think that is out. I think you're full of #$%! about me meaning a lot to you and I really don't care. You don't mean anything to me. I always have taken good care of daughter and I'm not doing it for you.

As far as daughter saying f-bomb, well, I don't think using church as a punishment is going get her to stop(it obviously didn't help you any). As a matter of fact, maybe instead of judging her you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror. Why should she stop cussing when you are living like a slut? Pot, kettle, fill-in ex's name here, pot, kettle.

Daughter told me she feels uncomfortable about that guy living there. Obviously you don't care though. Once again it's all about what you want. I'm sure you're spending quality time with daughter though.

One more thing, I have ignored your facebook request to be friends, you and I will never be friends on any level.


I know it's a bit extreme but it felt pretty good to send.

[MrBond]

Sorry to hear about all the drama your W is causing. Unbelievable how much the WAS will think that the LBS will take whatever crap they continue to dish out. I'll be praying for you and your D.

Oh and maybe an exorcist for your X.

[AFWAW]

More drama. Ex was in the base commisary today w/ her bf. She saw me checking out and approached me and bumped into me on purpose. I turned around and looked and she says, "do you want to meet my bf?" I responded not really and turned around to finish checking out. Based on this and her emailing and calling me at work I think I have no choice but to talk to my first sergeant tomorrow to see about a no contact order.

Pretty ballsy of her I think. Pretty sure she was being an ass and trying to ellict a response from me that was not appropriate while I was in uniform. I'm not getting in trouble for her.

[antlers]

Play it smart. Do as you described in your post. Get that no contact order.
Good luck man. You've had it hard for a long time.

[ClingingToHope]

Wow. That is awful. So far my STBXW is keeping a possible OM under wraps. I'm wondering if he'll emerge quickly after the D? My girls are just 7 and 11 and -- at least the 11 year old -- have developed kind of a strange stance. They don't want to see STBXW with any other guys but are hoping I find the "right" one for me.

[AFWAW]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Keep your chin up. Sooo, I talked with my first sergeant today and told her the whole story and she agreed that it bordered on harrassment and that she would contact my ex's 1st Sgt. Outcome was a counseling session and email to the ex regarding appropriate contact with me...My 1st Sgt told me that if anything happened she would initiate a no contact order to me for my protection, which is fine.

We'll see if she gets the message...