Believe me I'm not the authority here - and its just my opinion - but - there's no point in trying to figure her out. With my W - I am giving her the space and time to let her come to me when the time is right to talk about us. I haven't talked about "us", and I will watch her move out of state away from me in just a few days - not an easy event for me. All the advice I've gotten from this forum and from support groups tell me to get on with my life, work on bettering myself, work on relationship with kids, give spouse the time to see life without me, and somewhere there will be a resolution to our relationship - whether its together or not is unknown, but either way - I'll be bettered prepared for that next phase of life. So - my advice - yes - it hurts and sucks - but - continue to work on YOU, and give the relationship a timeout. To me - if its mixed messages you're getting, then W doesn't know what she wants yet. Think about this - if YOU know you want something - you will decide to do whatever it takes to get it. When SHE knows what she wants - you in all likelihood will know it - one way or another. Gotta give it some time - I don't know how long. I am 9 months down my road with no resolution in sight, but I know I need patience and strength - and as I've said I've accepted that challenge. Don't know if I can make it without going insane either - but - one day a time!!!!! Just hang in there and give things a rest. Hang tough.......
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Hey thanks for the support; and Happy father's day too!! I hope things get better for you as well!! I know time is a big thing and I'm trying to give her space. It's just tough because I see my son as often as I can and this week was his 5th grade graduation. We all went out for dinner after words the 3 of us like old times lot of weird, but good feelings too.
I probably shouldn't have either, but told her she was welcomed to come to the movies with S and me today if she wanted and W said she would get back to me. Trying to be positive, maybe I'm being to0 nice.
I have been working on myself during these times as well. I have gone out with friends I haven’t done in a long time (as I wanted to have family time instead). I joined a gym , even been working on forgiveness for myself as well as her and that been tough but gets a little better each day. I even have tried to be a better father and even offered to help W with herself as she is more depressed than me.
W has said she has even noticed changes in me!!
I know I'm suppose to back away and it's hard some days are better others aren’t. This whole thing is just a mess and I know she needs to figure things out for herself as well. I also have another blog in the newcomers section as well. Talk to ya later Hope
