She was a good mom before all the crap begin. The only reason she wanted the child to stay in foster care is because she views my family as threat to her losing custody.
She used the reason of the baby bouncing around to diffrent people, and while I agree with some of that to an extent. My main concern was get HER OUT.
She was a good mom, when things were good. I guess her vindictiveness shone through on that one really. I am just stuck and seeing the good in her for what its worth. I really no where I went wrong in the relationship, and I hope that she will too.
Its tough, so damn tough. Love can be a damn curse sometimes Timeheals. I just have faith and hope it will all be turned around.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
Oh no i seriously messed up, but not real bad. I checked an old gmail account I had, and well GMAIL has the chat built into the account when you log in. I seen WAW's name pop up, and I typed hello and a ? - i dont know why I did. I need a serious 2x4. She replied " follow court orders " i only replied u going to report this? and she replied " Leave me the f*!k alone" I am such a idiot to do that, been no contact for about 2 months, had a tough day where I was thinking about her and the sitch all day.
When her screen name popped up, curiosity got the best of me. THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. I guess i was overwhelmingly curious what her reaction would be, would she respond - want to chat? I dunno why i did such a boneheaded move.
She has broken no contact herself early on a few times. But I will not go down that road again.
I am having such a hard time detaching from her, but today I was doing ok earlier, just remembering all the mean things she has done, but I always return to the good times.
Why is it men always remember the good, and WAW's only the BAD?
Me 36 WAW 29 T- 21/2 years M-1 year DD1
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
Hi knight! You made a mistake, there is nothing you can do but try and move forward and improve.
I WISH it was men that only rememebered the good. My WH still has resentment and anger towards me about things that happened YEARS ago. "Remember when you yelled at me on my birthday when I turned 23" (that was 5 years ago). I obviously feel AWFUL about some of the ways I treated him but have made many efforts to improve and he hasn't been a saint either.
Yes we do. I just wonder if her " leave me the [censored] alone " can be percieved as ANGER as in she still has emotion for me. Or she HATES me?? I just dont know anymore, the no contact has me in the dark, and well i guess I shouldnt be mind reading anyway. She said D papers would arrive 2 weeks ago, they still havent shown up.
We go back to court on july 15 so i guess ill get a reading then on if she has calmed down any.
I prayed real hard today a number of times, and ask for guidance through my mess, just a sign or something. Thats why it shocked me to see her chat pop up on gmail. Probably just a coincidence.
I keep saying to myself I need to move on. But I keep getting curious about her and praying for it to work out. Im in a true limbo these days.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
The thing that really gets me about the full custody is will this kill any reconciliation attempts.
There is a very fine line you need to walk here. Yes, being aggressive on the legal front will indeed kill any reconciliation attempts. But I'm not advocating that.
You need to adopt a "firm defense" approach. Don't do anything offensive on the legal front. Let her push that forward. But make her push it forward. Don't cooperate. If she serves you papers, then you are legally obligated to respond. When you do, demand full custody. But , at the same time, tell your you don't want to divorce.
If she wants to mediate, basically refuse. Just keep telling her "I want to work on our marriage".
Yes, refusing to move the divorce procces along will frustrate her. But being a nice guy and bringing your marriage to a swift end by a simple mediation won't help you either. Just string the process along... when she forces you to do something legal, preserve your rights to their fullest.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
Tech guy thanks so much for the post. It really does seem like a plan to stall a bit, so we have more time to maybe reconcile.
However on the Gucci, RobX side of thinking I am very curious of what they think about stalling a D so there is time for WAW to actually see the changes?
Also if possible OM is involved. I cant confirm at this point, but it could be possible?
Gucci and or Robx or any VETS PLEASE RESPOND!!
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
Timeheals you seem to be the only 1 to reply, is my sitch so bad everyone passes it by?
Well, the way I see it I plan on full custody at this point. I need to stick to my guns on this one Timeheals.
However by sticking to full custody, she may disagree, but I doubt she can afford to fight it. The part about working on the marriage, I guess that is like pursuing, or could it be misconstrued as trying to scare her back to me?
I just want to show my changes, give her more time with counseling and anger management and also let her know that If she doesnt want every other weekend with our DD1 she has a option to work on the marriage.
A interesting tactic that seems to suit DD1's best interest, but at the same time I dont know how it will affect reconciliation.
Perhaps this could wake WAW up?
I really would like to get some responses from a few more folks as well.
Thank you for continually posting advice in my thread TH.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
