Need 'How to' on exposure,,,, and balls to do it

[sandi2]

I'm also curious to what my reaction should be if she denies the A, and demands proof?

Oh you can count on that!

You tell her that you both know she is lying. Do not tell her what you know or how you found out. You look at her in a stern manner and you speak with a low tone of voice.....but you do not spill the beans in how much you know. That causes her to worry a lot more wondering about it. Stand your ground!

it's just everyone says "DONT SHOW YOUR SOURCES", I'm sure as to not show your hand so they can avoid the same pitfalls in the future, or fly into the 'invasion of privacy' discussion.

Both, and she "will" fly into the invasion of privacy discussion.

[Lotus]

I'm with Sandi on the letter to the boss. That smacks of desperation and just tries to draw strangers into your marriage. The more people you draw into your marriage, the harder it is to reconcile with your wife.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm also curious to what my reaction should be if she denies the A, and demands proof?

Oh you can count on that!

You tell her that you both know she is lying. Do not tell her what you know or how you found out. You look at her in a stern manner and you speak with a low tone of voice.....but you do not spill the beans in how much you know. That causes her to worry a lot more wondering about it. Stand your ground!

it's just everyone says "DONT SHOW YOUR SOURCES", I'm sure as to not show your hand so they can avoid the same pitfalls in the future, or fly into the 'invasion of privacy' discussion.

Both, and she "will" fly into the invasion of privacy discussion.

Correct. You simply say "We both know you're lying right now. Please stop it. I know all about you and _______, and it needs to stop. It's incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage, and to our family."

Puppy

[Allen A]

Don't reveal your plans to your wife.. PERIOD... anyone who tells you to inform your wife if your exposure plans before you do them hasn't a clue what they are talking about

It makes no sense to confront your wife before you expose... She's just going to run damage control and prep everyone for you .. making exposure a LOT HARDER to believe...

There is no advantage to revealing your plans to your spouse while she's having an affair... you just DO IT, or don't... no reveal...

[kenmoore14217]

Optimust .......... I've been reading two of your threads and hope you listen to what Allen A says carefully. He seems to know just about everything that you need to do. I'll be waiting for the saga to continue. Good Luck. Ken Moore

[Optimust]

kenmoore14217...... You are new to the boards, your first post is on my thread? What is your current situation?

[Allen A]

Invasion of privacy?

Optimust, listen carefully here :


Privacy used for the purposes of sabotaging a marriage is not something anyone is at all entitled to.


If your wife is going to confront this one moral standards she will LOSE... Let her bring up privacy... She has NO RIGHT to PRIVACY if she's going to use it to HARM people COVERTLY... BAM

That puts that argument to bed in seconds...

I had to deal with that one in my own home... It doesn't fly...

[kenmoore14217]

Yep, I am new. Married 41 years today. Had it's ups and downs but still going strong. I basically read the threads and try to garner some education from them.

[Optimust]

Well good, I would like your advice also,,
Going a bit paranoid here, but your user name, would also fit for the OM in my sitch, and with being first post, was worried that OM had found this website and BB, thats why I asked.

You do post elsewhere on other boards - right?

Just trying to protect myself, if you were the OM, I'm probably dead in the water already.

Please give me some positive reassurance I'm not crazy, with something I could check out that OM would no nothing about.

[kenmoore14217]

I can tell you how I created my user name Kenmoore14217.......I was born and raised in Kenmore, NY zip code 14217. I use Ken Moore to make it look like a real name. That's it in a nutshell