my s called h last night. H said he went to friends sisters house with his friend for dinner. H sounded sad. H asked son how he and I were feeling because son has had and upset stomach for 3 days. I get so angry at h for doing this to his son. Today h called son to ask how he was. H sounded happy today I hate when he sounds happy. I get really angry at his mother. I think she is a big part of our m problems, she never let h have his own life. We use to live next to her and she woundnt let us move 2 miles away from her. She is so codependent especially now that her h died. She wanted h to herself now she has him. She is so selfish to steal h away from my son. Son is not doing good in school and mil says oh thats okay youll graduate. She lives in such denial about everything. Her h was abusing her adopted daughter when she was young and the mother never protected her. She is doing the same thing with h she tells him he's not doing anything wrong its all my fault. Oh well I can't control their craziness.
No you can't control but you can decide not to FOCUS on it so much. You want to blame someone...I get that...but looking to place blame will keep you in a hole.
Quit looking where to put the blame and pick up and move on...start living your life, show your son that you can be okay, that he can be okay...quit feeling happy when H is sad, or angry that he is "doing this" to your son, or hating when H sounds happy, hating MIL...all of this wild emotion flying around is probably having more of a profound effect on your son at this point then where his father is...
Your H's M will be in the picture until she passes on...looking and blaming will not help you and will definitely not help your marriage...what will help everyone is for you to take care of yourself and your son and forget what everyone else is doing...
h text me yesterday and said he was coming for bike today. I was not in a good place at the time because my son has been going to bed early and i think it's because he's sad, or maybe because i asked him to look for his first job. I called h, I hadnt spoken to him in 2 weeks and blamed him for sons sadness. I know this wasnt good but i had a slip. We had some angry comments to each other and then his attitude changed and he started asking me about school and i told him Im looking for work to. He said when are you going to let me talk to therapist. I said when ever you want. When I went to end the call he seemed like he wanted to keep talking. He seemed interested in what I have been doing. I am going to give him bike today. Maybe it would be better if I wasnt home, or I could put it in driveway but it is really heavy but i could do it. I dont want him to come in the house if im not home though.
yes, Im taking my son to my therapist tomorrow. He is going to talk to her by himself not with me like last time. I think he will be a lot happier when he gets his first job and sees that I am ok with the situation. I have been feeling a lot more positive now that I am GAL. I am going to play tennis with a new friend next week, and I am going to join a new church. how are you doing with GAL it is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You can't control what anyone else is doing. I also think it is not good to spend to much time on these boards, you have to go out and enjoy life, take action.
I drove by h house and he wasnt home and I went into panic, I drove by ow house and her house was dark and her car was parked around the corner. I called h and said what are you out with your slut. He said no im going to CVS for my mother. I know I shouldnt have done this. Then he got kind of angry and said he is coming ot get bike tomorrow. At first we argued a little and than I said I dont care take it if you want.Then I asked him if he wanted me to take his dog to the vet fro a check up because I know she's past due. I said you can come over and have dinner with son sometime if you want. I said we can be friends and he said that is what he wants too. He said we had a nice conversation yesterday why can't it always be like that.
Why did it give you whiplash? H came over tonight and had dinner with me and our son. after dinner we watched some tv and then i watched a show in the other room for awhile ans h and son watched a movie together. at one point i looked in other room and h didnt know i was looking and he had the sadest expression on his face and he is usually so upbeat. I wonder what he was thinking. H brought his little dog with him too. she was so happy to be home she ran in her crate and covered up with her blanket. H left around 1100 when son went to bed. It was a good visiit,
son called h and asked him if he could bring over some burgers for us h said ok. He is going to come after the gym. I get really nervous when he comes I don't feel safe around him because he betrayed twice. Im kind of glad he's coming because i think it is good for my son.
