Quick recap - WAW and I have had no contact in over a month due to no contact order in family court, I have been in counseling, on meds, and taking parenting classes.
WAW is in a serious fog, and takes no blame for getting DD 1 taken away from her. She was arrested for biting me during this dispute. We have had a very rocky past, with verbal abuse, and a lot of arguments. I think she is bi-polar, and well it got to the point where I just became a doormat I suppose because I didn't have boundaries.
Our court case today her Lawyer pushed for our DD 1 to stay in foster care and said that she didn't need to be moved around and that it was unfair to his client my WAW that DD1 would be with my sister more then either myself or WAW.
Well, luckily today the judge ruled that DD 1 will be slowly transitioned to my Sisters custody over the next month, beginning with over night stays beginning next weekend, this seemed to infuriate WAW. She also was mouthing to me " Your not getting DD " She even had the nerve to approach my sister in a hostile way while my Sister and Atty were talking.
An interesting thing happened, that really just hit me so below the belt I just cannot imagine going any lower. WAW had some guy whom I never seen before, It could have been her brother maybe I dunno, but anyway they embraced hands and began to pray in the courtroom lobby. This was right before we walked in to the courtroom. After our case was finished, WAW was holding hands with this guy after exiting to the elevator.
I just don't know how lower some one can go, then to bring a new man (date) OM BF to a court hearing regarding custody of DD 1 while WE ARE STILL MARRIED?!?!
Her FOG just seems to be so evil, I do not know this woman anymore. She thinks I am trying to take DD 1 away completely. I had been thinking hard on this and made a decision that I would be ok with Shared/Joint Custody, but after this display I just do not know anymore. I still love my WAW but she knew this was my worst nightmare to see her with another man. She had told me before she would wait until a divorce to date again.
My heart just really sank, and that feeling in the GUT hit hard. My Lawyer hates W and keeps saying GET AWAY - she IS NUTS. Everyone is saying get a divorce, but I just can not stop loving her and I do not want to give up hope, I know that with some help she can become the loving W she used to be. I guess everyone that I know thinks I am crazy for thinking this but I love my WAW.
I do plan on going for no less then shared, but pushing for Full custody of DD 1. WAW does not have the financial means to support herself and DD 1. I really hope that If I do get shared or Full, that I can begin to speak with her again, show her changes and be an inspiration to her to change, though I know she thinks that nothing is wrong with her.
Sometimes I wonder if it is me that made her into a monster?? I had been mean to her sometimes, and we had alot of stupid fights over my insecurities with face book, weight gain, and sexual issues? I got really out of shape and became a slob who would drink beer in front of the TV after getting home from work.
I have not gotten to many replies on my other threads, so any input is appreciated. I dont suppose I will be able to truly DB until we can at least talk again, and begin sharing custody.
I know I am rambling, but it feels like my situation is completely doomed now! Now before any naysayers focus on you and DD 1, Id like to know some thoughts about my situation.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
