I've been holding off on starting a new thread because I just don't know where I belong. I feel like I'm hanging in limbo again and it's causing me more confusion than ever.
Life with Gabe is rolling along in such a normal fashion that it scares me. He is like the man I once knew. Funny, kind, joking and laughing with me, sarcastic, helpful. All the things he stopped being for over 3 years. We had a conversation last night that has made me somewhat hopeful and terrified all at the same time. He was showing me a suit he picked up at a thrift store for $8 (NICE suit BTW) and was asking my opinion of it and what color tie, etc. I told him he looked very nice in it and we could go looking for a tie this weekend some time. He smiled at me and became a little teary eyed. He said he is an idiot but in a half-joking manner. I tried to be light about it and said, "Now what would make you say you're an idiot? Is it your lack of taste in ties?" He just hugged me and didn't say anything for a while. Then he pulled back, was crying a little more, and said, "I've just made a lot of really bad decisions."
He didn't expand on that and I didn't push for specifics but I did say that we all make bad decisions and it's what we do to fix them that counts. He smiled and hugged me again and that was it.
I have another potential problem though. Mom is being released from the rehab center tomorrow morning. She knows that Gabe and I are getting along well, that he is helping me with a lot of things, and that we talk all the time via text and phone. She asked me the other day why that is and I just said that I'm not sure what is going on but it's been really nice. Last night I expanded a little on that with her but didn't give her any specifics. How the heck do I tell her that we're sleeping together but that I have no idea if that is leading anywhere or if this is just a mutual comfort thing? I have to tell her before she comes home tomorrow so she's not shocked. I've never been able to have serious conversations with my mom about my personal life so this is very uncomfortable for me.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Wow....I don't know how to approach that convo with your mom. The only thing I will say is that you are an ADULT and no longer need her permission/approval over your own personal relationships. That being said, the fact that the three of you will be living under the same roof does throw a bit of a monkey wrench into things.
Sounds like Gabe is having some personal revelations. That is a good, good thing.
Maybe you could just say that you are wanting to see where there goes? I have those sort of issues with my Dad. I remember once he told me he wouldn't hold it against me for having sex but he might hold it against me depending on who I was having sex with!! Whatever!!
I think Gabe is starting to get it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
As for your mother, I understand she lives with you, but I agree. You are a grown woman. This was your husband. What goes on between you and Gabe is between you and Gabe. I think that is all your mother needs to know.
I think, when it comes to our parents, we tend to forget (as do they) that we are adults and very capable of making adult decisions.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Oh, totally agreed. I'm an adult, I am responsible for my own actions. I'm just not sure what words to use with her. I've got to come up with it today though!!
This is much harder than I thought. Go figure....
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Well, you could be blunt. "Mom, Gabe and I are doing the horizontal mambo, so just in case you hear funny noises coming from the bedroom, well, don't knock."
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
See OT! That's why I love you!!!! To the point, no dancing around the subject. That has been the way I'm leaning. She knows something is up anyway so it just can't be a surprise.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
