I'm back in the house after a year of physical separation but I am in a seperate bedroom. She is in a serious MLC and currently dating OM #3 (10 years younger. I have detached fairly well but I do have a few questions
1) what sort of boundaries do I set. We agreed to maintain our current "visitation" schedule and she can go out with her BF when it's her nights and I can go out with my buddies when it's mine, but thats it.
2)I am doing my best "as if" becasue that would be a 180 compared to my prior blow ups.
3) We still talk like friends after a year. We can joke or laugh or whatever, with minimal fighting. Is that normal? Should I even be doing that in light of the fact she is seeing someone. How much interaction should I have with her. I've got the emotional wall up so I can fake it and I think she is probably faking it as well.
4) I'm not sure I really even want the marriage anymore. I'm trying to figure things out for myself as a single person. She is broken and I'm not sure she will come out of it for years. How do I conduct myself around her. It just seems natural to me to talk with her and crack jokes etc.
There's a start. How's living in a open marriage working?
You have to mentally and emotionally be ready to set this boundary. Until you are then you will wallow in this mess. It is no way to live. As long as you allow this behavior to go on the you don't have a chance. Women aren't attracted to someone they don't respect.
The other thing is you move back into the master bedroom. You need to lead your family right now. Currently you are letting your wife call the shots. Standing up for yourself will not drive her further away.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
