As you can see from my sig, I've been here awhile.
My problem now is this: During the big D sitch, I couldn't get enough sex & had an O every single time! I'm guessing drama does this for some reason.
Now, things are pretty much "normal" around here & I have absolutely NO sex drive!
Any ideas? I make sure that we still have sex regularly b/c that was part of our downfall, but I want to enjoy it too. I know H knows that I'm pretty much just going through the motions, although he hasn't ever said anything, but I really could use some help here. Thanks!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Hi Red. I remember you from the old days, although I never posted back then. I'm sorry to see you in distress. Your old friends are still very active on ftio.com. If you want to join us over there I'm sure you'd be welcome.
Hi Red, I remember you from the "old days" as well. I don't really know what would help increase your drive either, but if you do find something I'm sure MrsGGB would be interested too. She pretty much is going through the same thing with little to no interest but doing it anyway.
If you somehow get sex on your mind ahead of the big event does that help? For example, would reading erotica do anything to jump start you? Does thinking sexy thoughts through the day help? How about if H extends foreplay to be an all day thing, or does that just come across as more pressure?
RedHeadWife, perhaps you need excitement, stress, and adrenaline to help get you there. I'm sure there are other situations besides the "D sitch" that would do it. Before having sex, go on a roller coaster ride? Exercise? Walk across a deep gorge on a rope-suspension bridge?
murrayskeeter, like you say, those are averages. The problem is, for most couples, one or both partners are not close to average. In the early years of my marriage, I bought into a similar "conventional" wisdom, namely that women peak sexually later, at which point her sex drive would finally start to match mine. Never happened. Her's went to zero, while mine is still about what it was in my teens. And though we're about 5 years apart (closer to what you're "recommending"), it hasn't helped one tiny bit.
