I cannot keep up with the mood swings. So after this morning he tries to get a hold of me and I do not answer, he finally leaves a voice mail and it says that he is planning on taking the kids out for dinner and wants to invite me to join them!!! What the heck??? This is after he tells me that he needs to spend time with the kids alone and does not want to see or talk to me anymore. I call him back and leave a message thanking him for the invite but telling him that I have running around to do after work so to enjoy his time with the kids. He then calls me back to talk about nothing at all, I cannot even remember the conversation.
As well I still do not have the separation papers, he has not emailed them to me as I requested.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
Thanks City girl, I am waiting on the papers, I did not request them initially just after him hounding me to read them I told him to send them and he has not.
I also understand the hugging and saying I love you and that was the first time I did it in over 2.5 weeks and last night when I saw him I did not do it, I am back on track!
Last night he dropped off our son and left very quickly, he kept looking at me like he expected me to say something or ask for something but I did not. He then said to our S10 that he had to go because he was meeting someone, my son was like oh right, H then looked at me and then back at our son and said remember I am meeting and then he names a male friend of his, almost like he had to clarify to me that he was not going on a date or anything like that, all I said was good bye and have a great time. He then ran out of the house very quickly.
We should not have any contact until Sunday as the kids are away this weekend and there is no reason for him to call me.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
So today H contacted me at 3:30, he asked me if I had my son with me, I found this funny for 2 reasons, one technically I should have still been at work, however maybe he actually remembered that our D15 had a hair appt, I doubt it but maybe, the second reason this was funny is because he knew our son was leaving for the weekend straight from school, so he had no reason to contact me at all. He then goes on to say don't forget about the open house on Sunday, to which I reply, yeah I like how I have to clean the house all by myself, he then says get the kids to help you, they however are gone all weekend and I work and I am stuck cleaning as well.
Tonight I have no kids and it would have been a great date night so I am finding it a little tough but I have no desire to call him and talk to him or cry so I guess I have managed to get to another level in this process.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
So I contacted H last night to ask him to come to the house early to finish up some stuff for the open house that I was not going to be able to get to, of course he did not answer, so I just left a quick message asking him if he would be able to do what I asked and then told him to text me his answer. I never heard from him so 45 minutes later I checked his voicemail and my message was not on there. I assumed he was waiting for me to keep trying to contact him as that is what I would have done in the past when I did not hear from him but I did not do this. Then this morning I was at work and H shows up at my work, he asks me when I called him as he did not get my message until this morning, I tell him when and drop the subject, I am not sure what to believe, maybe his cell phone did act up but I do not think so. Anyways he goes on to talk about other stuff and then leaves to go to the house.
When I get home I just go into my room to change so that I can go for a walk, he doesn't want me around when he is here so I thought I would leave again. He catches me in the kitchen and starts talking about the open house and this and that, after 5 minutes I leave the house and as I am leaving he yells out good bye, so I replied back to him good bye. As I was walking he pulls up beside me and proceeds to talk about stuff that he did not need to talk to me about right away, I find it funny for someone who does not want to chit chat with me how he initiates it all the time. After a couple of minutes I put my headphones back on and say good bye and walk away.
So I managed to not break any rules today but I am having another crying day. He keeps asking our D15 to move in with him and this upsets me and then apparently he is calling me his ex-wife to everyone who came to the house today, both of these hit me like a ton of bricks.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
So Monday night I come home and H is there (this was planned) everything seemed fine, he was in a good mood and I just went about getting ready to go to baseball. I then asked him if he was planning on going to a party that we had on Saturday for our d15's ringette team, he replied no, that was fine, I then said will you be keeping our s10? He hesitated and then said yes, about 10 minutes later he said that he actually had plans on Saturday and what time would I be home, this set me off, not because he had plans but because he whines and cries that he never sees his kids yet when he can he is busy. After about 10 mintes of arguing about this he tells me that I need to plan stuff better to which I reply, you knew about this party and if you were not going you knew our son was not going either and that one of us had to be with him. He said that this is why he wants set days to have the kids so that he can plan stuff on the days he does not have them. I told him I was tired of his mixed messages (meaning I want the kids but then does not take them when he can) He took this as mixed messages about us getting back together and said if I do not elaborate on answers to you I am a jerk but if I am nice then we are getting back together. I finally left because it was better than staying and getting stomped on and blamed for everything as well as reacting in the wrong way.
About an hour later after a long walk I ended up at the ball game and he was there, as I was getting my stuff from my vehicle he left his truck. I stopped him and said the following. I said I just wanted to apologize for getting angry earlier, that was not my intention, I am obviously having trouble with the seperate parenting thing, I assumed we would continue to divide and conquer when it came to our kids since we always did this when we were together and it worked and the kids schedules have not changed so there is a need for both of us to still be available for the kids. He accepted my apology and then I said when you insulted my planning skills that really hurt, since I am great at planning our schedule, he said he did not mean it the way it came out and that yes he was aware of the party but thought that even if he went he could still go out, he then started to explain where he was going, I stopped him and said that is none of my business and I do not need to know I just did not expect you to pick plans over your kids as this is not how it has worked in the past. He realized this and apologized again. I then went into what I meant about the mixed messages, I said I am fully aware that we are not getting back together but I want to have a good relationship as I am tired of fighting, I think this took him by surprise. He then went on to say that he was still going to go to the MC as he wanted to meet with him, I said that is great, I think he can really help you out with somethings you are working on and I understand that he is not going to the MC for us, to which he replied that he was going for us as well as other reasons.
So yesterday I had no contact with him at all and he did not contact the kids either.
Today he called me right in the morning to discuss the plan for tomorrow night (who takes which kid) I told him it was up to him as it did not matter where I went, he was in a very good mood. I then ended the conversation saying goodbye and I will talk to you tomorrow. Just leaving him with the impression that I do not expect to talk to him all the time anymore.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
I forgot to mention that he asked me when I was going to my lawyer since I had said I was going to go see her this week, I replied while you said alot of things to, I meant this in regards to the separation agreement but did not want to ask him for it. He figured out I meant the separation agreement and said I have it I can send it to you, to which I replied I do not want it, but there is no point in going to my lawyer without the agreement. He still has not sent it to me.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
So last night H showed up at 5:00, I did not leave my room until 5:30 and then it was to just get ready for work. He seemed a bit upset about something but he said he was fine. He had gone to the MC that day so I am sure he was thinking hard about some choices he has made. The only thing he shared with me was some advice he was given on how to deal with our S10 as there is alot of anger there. I did not ask how it went but he did say he was going back in 2 weeks. The 20 minutes we were around each other were good, nice and light, friendly and no major conversation.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
Yesterday H called me in the morning to discuss his sister's upcoming visit. He wanted to know how much he could have the kids and such. I told him he could have the kids whenever he wanted as they do not get to see his sister and her kids often. I think he was surprised by this. Also again I found it funny that he called me about this as we were going to see each other that evening and he could have just waited until then to discuss this.
Last night H came to the house to pick up our D15 for her sporting event, he asked our S10 to go with him and then asked me if this was ok, I said sure, I told him to go with you. He then goes onto explain that when he gets back he will just have to drop the kids off and run as he is going out with a friend, he even told me who. I replied thanks for letting me know I appreciate it but you do not have to explain yourself to me. He looked confused by my statment.
So now on to today, I have had no contact with H as of yet however he still has not transferred the money he is suppose to transfer to me on payday so this is where I need advice, I am sure he is doing this so I have to call and ask him but I really do not want to, should I or just wait until Monday and figure it out then?
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
So I just heard from H and his first comment was so you opened your own bank account, I replied yes. So he said while how much do I have to give you, I told him (he knows this!) He said okay but you keep paying the visa then, I replied that was always my plan you are the one who said you would pay it.
He then says I know you do not want to talk about this at work but can I send you the separation agreement? I said that is up to you, he said well that way you have it and can give it to your lawyer. He is really wanting to stay at the house every second weekend on his own and I will not allow this so I guess he thinks if he sends me the agreement than I have to agree to it.
You know what though, him bringing up the separation agreement did not upset me as much as it has in the past.
m-34 w-33 d-15 s-10 m-11 years t-16 years bomb - Feb 24/10
