My husband and I have been having many problems lately, and finally he said those dreaded words and meant it. I think we should separate...which in turn led to the other words...we need a divorce. I love him but parts of me hate him. I have no trust in our relationship so when he texts me he will be home late, I am automatically thinking he is with another woman. I have caught him talking to several different women and have found his profile on some different dating sites. This only reinforced my negative thinking. In turn I have been pretty rude to him. I have stopped wanting to sleep in his bed because I feel that if he is being intimate with another woman why do I want to be close to him. He now feels that I make it a chore to have sex. And I admit that I do feel those ways sometimes. We have a 6 year old. He recently moved our family to a new city in my last year of college, I could be done right now, but since I have to start at a new university I will be in school 3 extra semesters. I feel very used because he opened credit cards in my name without my permission for his old job, he was paying them but recently gave them back to me and told me he cant afford to pay them because he doesnt make enough money. All I can think about is him being with another woman instead of focusing on myself. It drives me crazy and I havent been eating or sleeping well. He says we need to be apart for awhile and figure ourselves out and in the end if we have a common bond we can be together. I am not sure if this feels hopeful or if I am wasting my energy.
Me30 H38 D6 Married for 7 years Relationship before marriage 3 years Husband is sending me on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
He says he is not and since we have separated he comes home every night. He isnt out super late. But I just cant shake the feeling that he is. And i hate myself so much if he isnt and I pushed him away for no reason. I am a very anxious person. I have an addiction problem that I feel is ruining my life. I feel like it is this evil monster inside of me and it constantly needs to be fed whether it is with drugs, food, my husband. Its like I become obsessed with things and it feeds my addiction. But the only things my addiction will feed on are negative things. I want to change my train of thought, but sometimes it becomes so unbearable i drink or i take pills. And then it makes everything worse when I cant get anymore pills, I basically go through detox, because I will have access to them for a month at a time and then suddenly I cant get them anymore and my body gets really sick. He doesnt know that I have been taking pills, in fact nobody knows,. But i dont know how else to handle my intense feelings.
Me30 H38 D6 Married for 7 years Relationship before marriage 3 years Husband is sending me on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
I want to change my train of thought, but sometimes it becomes so unbearable i drink or i take pills. And then it makes everything worse when I cant get anymore pills, I basically go through detox, because I will have access to them for a month at a time and then suddenly I cant get them anymore and my body gets really sick. He doesnt know that I have been taking pills, in fact nobody knows,. But i dont know how else to handle my intense feelings.
Read "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. There is a proven exercise to help with this.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I've become a huge pessimistic over the last few years. Just downloaded the audio version of Learned Optimism...listening to it now.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
