How should I handle MLC direct lying?

[amg2]

you only control yourself 100%.

You can't rescue.

You can't save.

And if there is dysfunction in your M you HAVE allowed it.

Your choice should be based in who you are. If you walk away without knowing that you are destined to repeat it.

If you are someone who no longer accepts this dysfunction in her life then do not accept it.

Do not blame H.

His choices are his.

It is a healthy progression amg. You might not agree with his choices,and you won't be part in enabling them any longer,
but recognizing his right to make them can help set you on the path of healing and forgiveness.

I am not trying to sell you anything I don't believe myself.

I think that's a big part of the problem. I'm not dysfunctional anymore. I WAS...OUR dysfunction was a core part of our M. But I'm not anymore. Maybe my lack of dysfunction makes us seem incompatible now.

We were a TEAM, right?

You tell me. Where you a team. Are you a team now?
Have you allowed things in your life that are not healthy?
Was that your H fault or yours?
What is healthy?
What is commitment?
When is enough enough?

I am telling you to forgive, heal, grow, work on yourself and then make a choice from a place of peace.

We are not a team. We are acquaintances. I wouldn't date him if I met him tomorrow. I was dysfunctional. So was he. We've gone completely opposite directions with that knowledge. I will always be doing my "inner work", but I no longer feel dysfunctional. I know the difference between healthy and not. And I won't be unhealthy for ANYONE.

Today, I feel like enough is enough. But I still hate it, still hate his decisions, still hate his inability to act in any way to make anything better, by ending it or fixing it.

And I realize that making a final decision from that place probably isn't the best for ME in the end. I'm getting what you're both saying. I don't see how I'll every PEACEFULLY accept the death of something that was so good in so many ways. I accept it to a great extent now, but not peacefully. I hope I have the strength to trust what you say here and give it some time.

I don't think my H wants a D. He's just letting life happen to him at this point and wouldn't try to stop me. Some times I wish I just KNEW SOMETHING...either way...so I could pull the trigger.

But I don't, and I hope you know how much you've helped me today. And how much I appreciate your time. I am now thinking about forgiveness, anger and peaceful decisions. And being conscious of my level of those things, no matter the outcome here. And how that will help me without reactivity.

Thank you