We'll it's clear that my wife is truly torn between her husband/family and her lover. She has asked him for space (which I doubt he is giving). and is truly confused on where to go. I personally feel that a retro weekend is the only thing I would consider at this point. W constantly flip flops between fantasy and reality, and truth and lies.
I guess that's why you don't find something better and then end your marriage. My W is the only person I have been in love with, and the only person I have ever had sex with. I have managed to stay completely faithful for the entire 7 months of our separation. If that ain't love, I don't know what is.
I am completely over our toxic relationship and am ready to give love another shot. I have a couple of fine young ladies interested in me and I think that I should just let myself go to see what happens. I just can't wait forever.
We'll it's clear that my wife is truly torn between her husband/family and her lover. She has asked him for space (which I doubt he is giving). and is truly confused on where to go. I personally feel that a retro weekend is the only thing I would consider at this point. W constantly flip flops between fantasy and reality, and truth and lies.
I guess that's why you don't find something better and then end your marriage. My W is the only person I have been in love with, and the only person I have ever had sex with. I have managed to stay completely faithful for the entire 7 months of our separation. If that ain't love, I don't know what is.
I am completely over our toxic relationship and am ready to give love another shot. I have a couple of fine young ladies interested in me and I think that I should just let myself go to see what happens. I just can't wait forever.
You want your wife to make a decision? Really? Why do you hold her to a standard that you can't hold yourself too?
Should I stay or should I go?
Haven't I proven my love to her? I've been faithful all this time?
This is all needy, insecure and approval seeking.
You have to look at this from another point of view. This is her loss.
You are allowing her to make the decision on whether or not she should choose you or the OM.
You make the decision.
You don't allow her to make the decision on whether she gets to choose you or the OM. Why do you make her a priority in your life when she is only making you an option in her life?
Forget about retro.
Too much is mentioned on this forum about retro and truth be told this is really only help for couples that are still together and questioning if they should stay together, you aren't going to get any assistance with your marriage while your wife is having an affair.
You want to get her interested? You want her to jump ship and come back to you? You've given her nothing to jump to, you've given her nothing to want, she has you and she knows it, she could come back anytime and you would take her. Unfortunately that's boring and don't spout marriage vows and other such nonsense, they're no longer applicable since you're wife's been gone and having an affair.
You really want her to take notice.
Tell her she can have him. Tell her you're done. And then don't tell her that you're dating and seeing other women. Don't tell her you're moving on with your life. Don't answer her texts or emails the same day unless it's an emergency. Let her stew a bit wondering what you're up to.
I knew you would say that RobX. I just needed some encouragement. I was at that place 3 weeks ago when I was truly done and was excited about these other women. It did bring her back to me, and I backed off my stance to be done to see what she would do. Well, it basically put us back in limbo with no direction and nothing changing. Time for me to quit standing around and see what else is out there....
The WAS's test us. they'll throw us a bone of interest to see if they still have us and the second we bite, they back off knowing that they have us right they want us.
You have to continue GAL and working on you. Anything she does in your M's favor, is a bonus, but don't stop doing what you're doing.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
Well lot's of changes in my sitch in the past day. i called to schedule meeting with wife to divide up last of assets and get D finalized last nite. We talk for a while and she does want to have a face to face discussion in the morning. So we talk this morning and some of our true feelings come out. She needs to know if I could ever forgive her for what she has done. I said if you are remorseful, and are open and honest about what i need to know. I also said that one of you has to quit your job. She said we need to figure out some things and really discuss what we both need to have in the future going forward. She said she needs a day or two to get everything else set, but she said if we plan to work on us, it is not because of the kids or finances, it is because she loves me and wants to be with me forever.
She said we would both have to commit 100 percent for the rest of our lives that we will always work on us. Divorce would no longer be an option for us. I guess i was kind of blown away because I hear so many others on this board trying to get any real commitment.... So she just called, told her BF that she wants to work on her marriage. She said he is irate and he may call me. I said I have nothing to say to that POS and if he wants to get together I will let my fists do the talking. She did seem honest today and her actions are backing her up. I am quite impressed with the strength of my W.
Good luck to you!! Be patient. You may finally be getting what you have been waiting for!
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
