My court date for my W's assault charge is tomorrow. In my previous situation my W bit me when she was trying to take my car.
After the police came she would not calm down after repeated attempts by myself and the police to calm her. Well she was arrested and charged with 4th degree assault.
Now the thing is I never wanted her arrested regardless of the biting. I just wanted them to make her leave as she was hysterical due to her car's engine basically blowing up.
We had a no contact order on us and she broke it, and wanted to take my car because DD 1 was with her at the time.
I begged the police not to arrest her but they did. I bailed her out following this and well now court day arrives and I have been subpoenaed. Once a bogus CPS case is cleared by us on the 20th, I hope to find a way for her to get help, along with myself and DB to save our marriage.
My question is, what can I say do to get this dismissed by a judge. I dont want W to have a assault charge on her record and I will do anything to get this dropped, because though it was a very stupid mistake it could hurt her in the future as she is in the nursing profession??
I know this is a weird sitch, but alot it was so blown out of proportion by CPS it caused my wife to behave in ways not normal to her.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
I think most of the advice I've seen on this board is that she needs to feel (and deal with) the consequences of her actions. You indicate your W bit you and violated a no contact order.
It's like when I was a teenager. Dad said if I got put in jail and was given one phone call, not to waste it on calling him.
I think most of the advice I've seen on this board is that she needs to feel (and deal with) the consequences of her actions. You indicate your W bit you and violated a no contact order.
This M is out of control. CPS has taken the kids, restraining orders, violence.
At this point, they could probably appear on Jerry Springer. No offense intended: that's just how out of control everything is.
Somebody in this relationship needs to step up and calm the heck down. Since the W doesn't seem up to the task, it's going to have to be the H, and he should let her deal with the consequences.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Thank you for the reply. The thing about that is I know W was hysterical, but she emailed me about it and said this in respone to the incident as if it was a " TEST " of me doing the right thing.
"You need to stop trying to take control of everyone in your life- you may have ruined our daughters-you still probably think this all has to do with facebook or you and me or me taking your car.DD WAS IN MY CUSTODY I NEEDED A SAFE CAR YOU ARE HER FATHER/MY HUSBAND IF YOU LOVED HER YOU WOULD HAVE JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THE RIGHT THING TO DO THE HONORABLE AND RESPECTFUL THING "
She felt because she had DD 1 that it was right for her to break the order and take my car, because her car was broke down.
The facebook comment was over issues I had with guys flirting with her which i snooped and discovered. She never cheated, but guys would message her in ways i didn't think seemed like friends.
If you could look over my sitch please any advice would help.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
Thank you for the reply. The thing about that is I know W was hysterical, but she emailed me about it and said this in respone to the incident as if it was a " TEST " of me doing the right thing.
"You need to stop trying to take control of everyone in your life- you may have ruined our daughters-you still probably think this all has to do with facebook or you and me or me taking your car.DD WAS IN MY CUSTODY I NEEDED A SAFE CAR YOU ARE HER FATHER/MY HUSBAND IF YOU LOVED HER YOU WOULD HAVE JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THE RIGHT THING TO DO THE HONORABLE AND RESPECTFUL THING "
She felt because she had DD 1 that it was right for her to break the order and take my car, because her car was broke down.
The facebook comment was over issues I had with guys flirting with her which i snooped and discovered. She never cheated, but guys would message her in ways i didn't think seemed like friends.
If you could look over my sitch please any advice would help.
Fine. Stop trying to save (control) her from the consequences of her own actions. I don't know the whole story here (e.g. why do you have an order of protection?).
Let it go. Focus on improving your own life. Let her work out her own issues and solve her own problems.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Thank you for the reply. The thing about that is I know W was hysterical, but she emailed me about it and said this in respone to the incident as if it was a " TEST " of me doing the right thing.
"You need to stop trying to take control of everyone in your life- you may have ruined our daughters-you still probably think this all has to do with facebook or you and me or me taking your car.DD WAS IN MY CUSTODY I NEEDED A SAFE CAR YOU ARE HER FATHER/MY HUSBAND IF YOU LOVED HER YOU WOULD HAVE JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THE RIGHT THING TO DO THE HONORABLE AND RESPECTFUL THING "
She felt because she had DD 1 that it was right for her to break the order and take my car, because her car was broke down.
The facebook comment was over issues I had with guys flirting with her which i snooped and discovered. She never cheated, but guys would message her in ways i didn't think seemed like friends.
If you could look over my sitch please any advice would help.
Fine. Stop trying to save (control) her from the consequences of her own actions. I don't know the whole story here (e.g. why do you have an order of protection?).
Let it go. Focus on improving your own life. Let her work out her own issues and solve her own problems.
Sounds to me like she is placing blame on everyone but the person in the mirror in front of her. Maybe the charges will be good for her and force her to quit misdirecting everything away from herself. Go to court, fulfill your duties to the subpoena, don't commit any criminal activities by lying for her, and let her deal with her own consequences of breaking the law. Was it your fault her car was broke down? My one piece of advice, quit enabling her bad behavior. Shock
Thank you for the reply. The thing about that is I know W was hysterical, but she emailed me about it and said this in respone to the incident as if it was a " TEST " of me doing the right thing.
"You need to stop trying to take control of everyone in your life- you may have ruined our daughters-you still probably think this all has to do with facebook or you and me or me taking your car.DD WAS IN MY CUSTODY I NEEDED A SAFE CAR YOU ARE HER FATHER/MY HUSBAND IF YOU LOVED HER YOU WOULD HAVE JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THE RIGHT THING TO DO THE HONORABLE AND RESPECTFUL THING "
She felt because she had DD 1 that it was right for her to break the order and take my car, because her car was broke down.
The facebook comment was over issues I had with guys flirting with her which i snooped and discovered. She never cheated, but guys would message her in ways i didn't think seemed like friends.
If you could look over my sitch please any advice would help.
dude you cannot commit perjury for her. they have the police statements of what happened. she did wrong she's going to have to face the consequences.
i know it's hard but man you have got to pull it together for you and your D right now
she's slandering you on websites and creating alot of turmoil by wanting D to stay in foster care. *sighs*
i have to step away for a minute man.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
Our DD 1 had been to the Dr with nursemaids elbow a couple of times. All physicians had said this was relatively common for infants to get, and it is very easy to fix by rotating the arm.
About 4-5 months into marriage we started having some issues/arguments etc... Some of the arguing resorted into her hitting me - tearing things up, she would get hysterical and has a hard time controlling her temper to say the least.
I never hit her back, but after another fight or two I became fed up with this and called the police. The police had come and she had already left, and she actually filed a epo against me that was later dismissed by a judge.
The police had actually called CPS just to check things out, because of the report and the fact we have a child.
CPS did some research on the nursemaid elbow, and advised that it was not common for our daughter to have this contrary to what DD's dr had advised. BS charge, as W is good with DD, and would never hurt her.
Well anyway, CPS pushed this and called a hearing. They gave us 2 options.
Option 1 - For us to have someone come live with us that they approved of for a month.
Option 2 - For W and DD to go and stay with someone they approve of.
Option 2 was chosen and W went to stay with her boss.
Also, no contact became a condition - not a restraining order.
Well anyway W's car broke down - engine problems and she drove it to my house. When i got home she was inside. I came in and she became hysterical and demanded I give her my car - I said no because i need it for work. She said your DAD can let you borrow his etc..
Anyway she started moving her stuff into my car - and put DD carseat in it as well. I said NO you cannot take my car, took DD carseat out and she bit me trying to get it back.
I knew she could not leave without it.
She freaked out called the police, said I wouldnt let her leave. When the cops came they got our stories, W wouldnt calm down and they arrested her after giving her multiple chances to calm down.
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Its truly a nightmare blown out of proportion. And I just hope it can be salvaged.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
No it was not my fault, it was a older car and 200k miles. It finally just ran its course. I had just sank 1000 into repairs to. Thing is i was telling her that we would get her a new one, and she said no in a rage she said she needed mine.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
