I was just thinking about mothers day next week and was wondering how many lbh are going to send waw a card or gift? I know it would come across as pursuing but they are the mothers of your children. Thought about giving D18 some money so she could take mom out for dinner. Any thoughts?
Bomb 7/15/09 M46, W41 T 15YRS M 8YRS D20 D18 (stepdaughter) sep 8/16/09 papers filed 5/5/10 Divorce papers signed 8/18/10 Nov 18 officially divorced
- do not give your daughter money to take your wife out for dinner
If you need to give something, genuinely give it from you NOT from behind one of your kids, make it simple, maybe a card and some flowers and a genuine "Happy Mother's Day", no dinner is necessary, this is a day for her and her kids, you don't need to make it about you.
and... - Your kids are old enough to take care of whatever they need to do for your wife on mother's day.
funny...i was just thinking about this as W noticed as we were driving a sign about mothers day. I am thinking by my lack of "instant" response that she may have got the feeling that she may be lucky to get a card from me this year....well i am not that mean...a card should suffice.
gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
We have a therapist involved and his recommendation (which usually go against the DBing) is that I should be the roll model and take my kids out shopping for mothers-day gifts.
I am going to go hog wild. Not to gain anything from it. S9 wants to give her flowers, How about a couple dozen delivered to work....Need to figure out what the others want.....
I feel it is very important to determine WHY. If it is pursuing, then DO NOT DO IT.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
S17 is taking a scooter course on M Day that I am instructing. I was thinking of taking W out for dinner afterward which would be really for the kids. Otherwise I was thinking of a card.
I was thinking of reminding kids that it is Mother's Day. But beyond that is it worth it to take D14 out shopping? S17 can drive himself. Any additional thoughts?
Because I will be 3.5 weeks into NC, I was planning on doing nothing. The only problem is that this was always one of her complaints about me. I never even did the little things like getting her a card for all of these occasions much less anything big. This was definitely one of her resentments over the years. She would always set herself up for these days and then there was no way to win because she was always disappointed.
I was planning on asking my counselor what she thought but I will also ask the board. My friends say that NC means NC of any kind. S24 said no at first but then he said possibly a card thanking her for being the mother of my children but asking the counselor's opinion. Any ideas?
Me48 WAW46 M24 yrs S24 D21 D19 EA disc 6/09 2nd EA Fall 09 I move out 11/12/09 W and I switch 1/14/10 D Filed 3/17/10 W moves in with OM 6/8/10 D Final 6/21/10
I have a D5 and S2 so I did order WAW flowers for Mom Day. Signed it from them. I am totally not looking for ANYTHING in return. If see says anything(Doubtful) I will just say the kids wanted to do that for you.
She is still their mother, I can never change that.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I have a D5 and S2 so I did order WAW flowers for Mom Day. Signed it from them. I am totally not looking for ANYTHING in return. If see says anything(Doubtful) I will just say the kids wanted to do that for you.
She is still their mother, I can never change that.
Depends on whether there is any kind of A going on. If not, and you're trying to rebuild the M, then sure, but if there is, then she has abandoned you and your M in the most fundamental way. If she wants to get something from the kids for Mother's Day, let her arrange it. Just because you are the kids' father doesn't obligate you to handle it.
Age of the kids is beside the point, my kids are little too. You are now only responsible for your relationship with the kids, not hers.
