Men are different to woman. They dont communicate in the same way. They can be obtuse! You have relied on girlfriends the past few years and they are WAY more supportive and likely to ask how you are/feel etc.
But you feel that it shows a lack of connection or that your dreams/issues/problems arent as important as his job/schedule/problems. I can see how you might interpret it that way, but it may not be true? But even so, you'd like him to be more communicative/sensitive. I understand.
I have a friend newly married. Every night they sit on the worktops and "chat about their day".. everthing that was good, bad, what happened, how they feel.. he is as keen to do this as she is. They debrief, destress, then enjoy their evening. Sounds lovely. Me and bf do make time to sit and drink tea and have a chat about our day when we both get home too, although we didnt used to do this in our old R! Maybe you need to instigate a new routine like this... xx
ps.. just saw your post.. wow, thats very positive then! He is learning and growing...
Last edited by AliSuddenly; 06/02/1010:02 AM. Reason: Slow !
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I'm glad he listened too. I find it interesting that he was shocked. It's as if he does not understand what "intrusive thoughts" means when it has been discussed in MC. ANd how frequent they can be.
Maybe the frequency and intensity of these flashbacks to what happened he is in denial of and has blocked himself from fully comprehending. Because it is reminder that he caused you years of still ongoing pain.
I think it is normal to have defense walls and thoughts of flight.
I hope the thought stopping helps and the trauma lessens one day soon so you can let walls down more.
Hi guys, H left tonight to S. Africa. Looooong ways from home. He was happy he gets to be there during the world cup but he was upset for leaving for at least 16-17 days. The last couple of days that he was here and had time we got close again. Time is an issue after all. We may not think about it or consider it as our no 1 problem but it seems it is. Because when we spend time together, things get better.
We gave him his Bday present and a father's card. He wanted us to make love before he left and locked the bedroom door with the kids outside and we did. And it felt...good. First time I saw passion. I mean really.
Things at work as a mess. I do have a job but I said I want them to find me another one. THey may come back and say there isnt one and I do that anyway or I amy find something more suitable for me. I took a risk and I will know soon what's gonna happen...
That sounds wonderful, I'm so happy for you. Its an amazing thing, seems like he is becoming very reattached and passionate toward you again, maybe you are going to get that '2nd honeymoon' afterall!?
Good luck with the work sitch, but then in your Jupiter year.. its bound to work out ok in the longrun! xxx
