Why does this bother my WAW?

[Vulcanized]

I'm guessing that my H will go nuts when he knows I'm dating again.

H told me that I sucked in every way imaginable. The conclusion I drew from that is: compared to OW, in H's mind, there is nothing worthwhile about me. If H doesn't want me, surely no OM would either.

I think WAS tells them self similar b/c it helps them justify their own bad behavior and think they can keep you on the back burner in case things w/OP don't work out.

"I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to want you either". Like a dog marking it's turf.

[elscotto]

Ruined, good. I am glad and I hope the X H lies in bed at night when he finds out and wonders what you are doing with the OM. I am prety sure most of us have put ourselves through that toture and not that i wish that on others but it wouldn't be bad for them them to understand a little of what it was like.

I hope all turns out well for you. My life is turning around and 855 of the time is great. I want to get that figure up to 95% asap.

Thanks
Scott

[dday101798]

So Dday you are saying that your sons knew about the affair and who wanted out and so forth?

Oh yeah, when I said, you want him go be with him, that's exactly what she did, right in front of the kids, the only thing I asked her not to do.

[elscotto]

Oh man how did your boys take that and how was their relationship before and after with you? Also, how was their relationship before and after with their mother. When I told my son "People make mistakes and changes to their lives all the time. Sometimes they change jobs, sell their homes, move across the country etc... and sometimes they chose to leave a marriage. Most of the time in established marriages there is a 3rd person involved and this was also the case here. You mother will always be your mother, she loves you and always will, and she made some bad decisions that cause the end of our marriage. I wanted to stay married but this can be done only if both people are committed and your mom didn't want to be married to me anymore" He said "was it XXXX?" I said yep. My 15 year old just said "Wow. She is still my mom and all but I will never look at her the same way again." I said its okay to be mad and I will always be honest with you if the answer is age appropriate.

I asked if there was nything else and he said no. Then he stood up, huged me, and said he loved me. It made me well up a little because it said so much.

Scott

[dday101798]

I asked if there was nything else and he said no. Then he stood up, huged me, and said he loved me. It made me well up a little because it said so much.

I pretty much received the same from them.

(x)W on the other hand, has serious strained relationships, mainly with our youngest, he's an analytical one like me, but with her temperment.

We are making strides to repair this and it's slwoly getting better. Kind blows because as I write this I realise that helping restore their relationship and trust and comfort with her, iskind of taking away from my relationship with them.

But, hopefuly with our impending move to a whole new enviornment, things will have a comfort buffer. Of course this will effect them for the rest of their lives as a horrible experience, but they now have their family back together, the only way is up!

[elscotto]

Dday, as you do what you can to repair the relationship with those boys and their mom it may be a few years but those boys will always rmember what you did and more importantly they'll put it into the context of what happened and you'll never stand taller in their eyes when they realize what you did for them.

My 2 cents.

[beingreal]

Dday, as you do what you can to repair the relationship with those boys and their mom it may be a few years but those boys will always rmember what you did and more importantly they'll put it into the context of what happened and you'll never stand taller in their eyes when they realize what you did for them.

Taking this to heart today--just what I need to remember. It's really not all about us.

Thank you.