Hi K, just reading you last post. I find it interesting that he cares to monitor you calls and asks questions about it. Maybe it has him a little worried that you are really moving on....they say that even in MLC the do peek out occasionally to check if you are still where he'd left you. Also wishing you Happy Mother's day is something that most of the WHs don't do, judging from the recent comments on this board.
You look that you are really detached and not letting him control you by his behavior. Good for you
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I am much more detached and actually looking forward to this divorce being over soon.
Both my daughters had choir performances this week. H went to first half of D14's and didn't go at all to D12's b/c he was feeling ill. When I saw him yesterday he said he hadn't been sleeping well the last few nights(he just moved into his condo).
He noticed a necklace I had on that I'd gotten at Christmas from my mother and commented on it. Only mention that b/c he hasn't really taken an interest in me for so long...but for me its too little (and often laced with anger or self-pity), too late.
I'm sad this marriage ended, and ended the way it did. I regret that I wasn't a better wife in ways I now realize I could have been. I've learned alot along the way through this journey and am trying to remain present and remember my lessons.
Looking to get out of this tunnel soon!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
You have come so far and you will get out of the tunnel and be so much better.
My divorce was final on Monday, moving ahead.
Glad to hear how the Rebuilding class has helped in many ways and that you've made a new friend that you can talk to.
Yes, we all made mistakes, but nothing we did deserves the treatment we got. You and I both wanted to work on our marriages, but we weren't given the chance or a choice. So, time to keep moving forward.
Guess what? Mine was passive aggressive as well...go figure.
Lots to tell you; I'll keep checking on when we can get together. Doesn't look like this weekend will work for me, but I'm pretty flexible during the week as well. Let me know; have a great day!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
My divorce will be final any day. The papers are filed and waiting to be signed by a judge.I am no longer standing. I am moving on. The Rebuilders course I took helped me alot. My H is seeing someone-I think...But at this point I don't really think I care.
I had met with H a few times before we went to mediation. H kept telling me he didn't want my retirement, he didn't want alimony(maintenance)...when it came to mediation-he got half of everything which meant...a large chunk of my retirement, cash and a nice bit of alimony(and child support).
So at this point I'm not angry about the past affair or the divorce, the many lies, his recent snooping..but I am angry that he lied to my face about what he wanted in this divorce and couldn't be the man he was capable of being...
H still gets angry at me, although I have very little contact with him now, except some emails and rare phone calls about the girls. They spend a week with H and then a week with me.
I think H has a very long way to go before he comes out of his MLC..
I have made some great friends from my Rebuilders class and that has helped me tremendously. I am looking forward to a future without constant anger directed at me, without feeling that I have somehow failed in my marriage. I've learned so much by going through this, and even though its been hell at times..I think I'm a better and more whole person now.
My next relationship will be that much better and stronger for it.
GG-somehow we have to meet..I'm in the rebuilders(RB53) meetup group. Will be at the August picnic...
TF- I think you (and your marriage)will make it through this--you have come so very far and will be one of the successes for sure with your strength and patience!
D Money- You have grown so much this past year! I know whatever happens you will absolutely be fine and thrive! I'm rooting for you!
Everyone who ever posted or helped me through this journey- I want to officially thank you all for the kind words and support when things seemed darkest. Just knowing there were other people out there in a similar situation helped me keep my sanity.
I may pop in now and then..but probably not as much as in the past...It feels as though my life is getting worth living again!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
I hope you find love, peace and happiness! I don't know whether or not to say I hope I end up in the same good place - I am so new to this and still hopeful that my husband might see the light. I know it's a long shot - but I'm just not ready to give up! That being said - I am thrilled to know that someone came out on the other side and found peace! Congrats to you!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
I have followed your journey closely. It has been long hard journey for you but you now sound so strong and ready for the next chapter in your life. The lessons you have learnt and the person you have become will hold you in good stead in the future.
KJ -so glad you posted! I was just thinking about you a couple of days ago and wondered how you were. You sound so good! The fact that you can get to a place like that is a testament to everyone who is on this journey, no matter what happens with their M.
