as i've been browsing the threads, i keep stumbling upon some statistic that says that 80% of MLCers come back. and of the 20% who don't, part of that is that the LBS didn't want them back.
Please keep to one thread. When you have numerous threads, it is difficult for us to keep up with you. Also, you cannot follow your progress as well. Okay?
To answer your question..the 80% number has been floating around for the last 10 years. . You cannot base that percentage on those who post here....because we are only a small percentage of the population. However, I do think that there is a high number of mlcers that think about returning, but cannot because the spouse either has moved on w/another partner, or the betrayal was too much and then again, there is the pride factor and the work involved...some mlcers just can't do it.
Just remember, percentages are just numbers and those numbers can change hourly.....
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Leave it be....just, in the future, you need to stick to one thread. You can actually change your subject line each and every time you post on your main thread.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Pandora, there is NO WAY 80% of MLCer's come back. As Snodderly pointed out, this board does represent a small sampling of all total MLCer's, but with that being said, I do believe that enough people post on here to have some pretty reliable data and stats. Based on what I have seen on here over the last 4 years, I would say about 5% return or restore the marriage. I feel that number is very generous.
I think it depends on how you define "come back." It seems that most of them have their regrets and float the idea of returning by the LBS but are not willing to let go of OP...and the LBS moves on.
Also, time is interesting to consider--I have noticed that sometimes it is much much later, but it does seem to happen that they will make a rather limp effort to reconsider. Many on the board have had multiple returns.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I think it is difficult to substantiate any percentages accurately.
The people accessing this forum are very small. The number of men acknowledging MLC is also potentially very small.
I know 5 couples where the men recently went into MLC. Three couples are now back together and trying to make their new relationship work, my H is still out to supper and one H won't get home because his LBS has now moved on.
I have known 4-5 couples personally who went thru MLC ( or something resembling it) all reconsiled
none of the Male spouses moved out, but had affairs and much talk was said about moving but they didnt
all couples are currentlky still M but one is seperated- I think -we lost touch I also believe many of the MLC cers MAY consider returning but there has been too much damage I knew of one couple who after 8 years H showed regret and made HINTS of return, but XW flat out said NO Way seems like in the begining, we LBS think we will never let go and always want H back, but in time many here do move on and sometimes, it may be years nad years before the MLCER may wake and so it mnay be too late either way,, take care of you and use this time for your individual healing and growth even if we can restore a friendship and lighten the load for our kids that is a sucess I believe for Us and rewards will be great for our individual growth as well as any future R Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
