hey, just wanted to start a thread with some questions for those who are getting divorced for the second/ third time. It seems a little strange to me that second divorce rates are even higher than the firsts. After the first divorce did you take the time to really assess your problems and know what led to the breakdown of your marriage. Did you see the warning signs in the next marriage? Obviously a lot of people here are dealing with infidelity, but most marriages are in tough shape when om/ow enters the picture. Just looking for some insight for the next go around if I dare try it again.
hey, just wanted to start a thread with some questions for those who are getting divorced for the second/ third time. It seems a little strange to me that second divorce rates are even higher than the firsts. After the first divorce did you take the time to really assess your problems and know what led to the breakdown of your marriage. Did you see the warning signs in the next marriage? Obviously a lot of people here are dealing with infidelity, but most marriages are in tough shape when om/ow enters the picture. Just looking for some insight for the next go around if I dare try it again.
Strange? Why strange?
It actually makes alot of sense.
You divorce in your first marriage, you didn't resolve any of the issues that happened in that relationship, you move on to the next relationship without taking care of those issues, you repeat the same mistakes, you're the same person throughout all of this, the only difference is that you wake up next to a different body in bed but with the same problems.
It actually makes sense, so much so that that the statistics says that divorce rates are even higher with 2nd and 3rd marriages - why? Because instead of resolving said issues, people hit that "brick wall", they aren't willing to put up with the same $hit for as long a period of time as they did in their previous relationships so they quit much sooner and then you've developed a pattern - something difficult and hard comes your way and you don't know what to do, rather than stick around and try to resolve and fix it, you quit. You quit sooner. That's the pattern and you bring that with you to the next relationship and the next one, so on and so forth.
It's logical, not strange and it's something alot of divorcee's better get prepared for, because that's reality.
It's friday night and the peeps and bud light limes are calling my name and I can't be typing these long winded posts from my phone all night long, have a good one bro!
Well I guess personally I really wanted to/ needed to change. Most walk-aways who I know like who they are, and have found someone who really appreciates who they are (for the time being anyway). I guess if you leave with the walk away attitude you are pretty much sealing your fate. I would hope that stats reflect how well LBS fair in their next marriages when compared to WAS.
I would hope that stats reflect how well LBS fair in their next marriages when compared to WAS.
It's impossible to collect such data, I doubt there would be much difference in numbers if it was. Did Michele say that more men than women get married 2nd time. Makes sense. I guess that also means the same women keep on marrying and divorcing and marrying again and so on to equal it out. Don't give stats much thought when comes to relationships.
I don't know about statistics but once my divorce goes through, it would have to be an extraordinary situation for me to get married again. I wonder if the people who get married 2, 3, 4, 5+ times aren't just using marriage as a magical token.
To be honest, now more than ever, I don't see marriage as anything more or less special than two adults being committed to each other. I don't need to have a judge or law to "validate" my commitment to the person I want to be with. I went through one marriage already with a clear heart, all bets in, and my husband cheated and I filed for divorce. He keeps wanting us to work on the marriage, but the marriage ended when he fooled around. It's just a legal transaction at this point that I won't be associated with him, other than co-parenting.
If I ever fall in love with someone in the future, I don't see any reason to get married. Especially now that I'm in my 40s, there's no reason to do it.
I was talking with a friend about this a while ago, and he's been dating since his divorce and he always seems to go head over heels for women, talking about marrying them after 5 or 6 dates. I keep telling him that he just needs to find someone he can enjoy being around without even thinking about getting remarried but he seems to think that marrying someone is more evidence that you are committed to someone. I totally disagree.
