I came back to the forums last year after a long absence. My H had an A 5 yrs ago and I found great advise here. My H came home after a four month separation but the A continued for several months. This site was my solace, my sanity. Finally, I talked to her. Set her straight about what was going on in my house and she dropped him cold the next day. Thankfully, she never looked back even when he pursued her for several weeks/months after.
We had a kind of detante in the house. I was very detached and continued my GAL strategies. Sometimes he would spew the most hateful things that me but I remained calm and detached. Sometimes we'd have the best time together. We lived that way for four, very hard years.
Last year, I had supicions that he was having another EA, maybe even PA. I came back for advice. Eventually, I confronted him. He denied and broke contact. He told me he loved me for the first time in four years. He told me that he really wanted us to work on things and he was sorry for everything he put me through. I finally believed him.
It's been a year since that first ILY. I'm almost ready to call us a success. We're working together, really together for the first time and we're communicating so much better. Just yesterday, we had a problem that could have been the end of things a year ago but we just sat down and talked it through. We made a plan to solve it together. That was a major step for us.
I don't know what the future holds but I'm confident that we'll be planning it together. We'll celebrate 11 yrs of M this year but it feels like the first. Just wanted you to know where I'm coming from so when you see me post on other threads, you'll know I've been there too.
I'm glad I could help. My H gave me just enough over that time to make it worthwhile and kids, life, etc. Things just happened and before I knew it, it was four years later.
