i want results now.. but the truth is that time is on YOUR side.
you need this time to focus on you and to make yourself stronger.
focus on the positives in your life. I felt too humiliated and embarrassed to talk to anyone so that ate away at me even more. once i started to journal and come on here, it made a tremendous difference in that I was able to vent those feelings.
we are here for you. your life IS worth living! think back to who you were BEFORE your met your wife.
We are here for you. chin up!
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
Hang in there! It will definitely get better but will take time.
I am in a place where one day things look better and the next day the fog rolls back in. Its great advice to post on here and vent, get support or simply read others' sit/advice.
I'd love to move on ASAP but I understand that this is a natural process to grieve my M and it simply is not going to happen as fast as I'd like it to.
Sometimes calling a friend and going out to do something different is all I need to feel a bit better. Exercise is also a huge help.
If you can its also a good time to try those things that you always wanted to but for whatever reason had not. Take a course, start a hobby, etc. Anything to GAL which will improve your self-esteem.
Keep posting. Remember others have been in the same place too and have made it out the other side stronger and wiser.
When or how do you get to a point were you feel that life is worth living again? I just can't seem to shake this hopeless, worthless feeling.
Get to a bookstore and find a copy of that Susan Anderson book, The Journey From Abandonment To healing. I think you will find it eye-opening, having what you are going through spelled out for you.
You are in the shattering phase; these emotions are understandable and natural.
If you really start to feel down, get some personal counseling or look into getting a prescription for anti-depressants. Just because she may be trying to deal with things on her own doesn't mean you need to.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
When or how do you get to a point were you feel that life is worth living again? I just can't seem to shake this hopeless, worthless feeling.
Do some stuff. Do some stuff outside of the house, have fun for yourself. Stop worrying about how you look to anyone. This along with time and it will fade.
Phil - you mentioned a worthless feeling. Do your best to separate you from the problem your W is having. She is having a problem with making changes and communicating that to you. If she had, you wouldn't have been shocked.
You, like all of us, have things to work on. But you can't control the problems she has or has made.
Take some deep breaths! Keep your mind, open, too.
I read "how to improve your marriage without working on it" and "his needs, her needs". Both (along with DB) have helped me make changes in my life that have been well recieved by my W. That doesn't mean I've solved my M problems. It does mean that I can feel like I've tried and at least done things instead of just feeling sad.
