Don't mess around to see if MLC is going to develop. Some LBH's lose precious time due to trying to decide which symptom to label the W. Deal with her like she's a WAW.....b/c she is.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Tonight is my night with the kids and she just gave the most ridiculous excuse for not being here until later. I gave her a "have a good time" and laughed inside that she thinks I am that stupid.
Me:42 W:38 M:17 Announcement: Jan '10 S Filed: Mar '10
So,what could you do that would be a boundary where the visitation schedule is concerned? Is she suppose to have the kids there by a certain time? What consequences could she suffer by not being responsible to get them to your place on time?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think so Sandi. And I think I understand what you are saying... There is the legal stuff and the stuff I will put up with.
The problem I think in my mind is that because we have no agreement, legal or otherwise, I don't have any position to set a boundary. Boundaries sound like things that I can enforce, but she has a very bad attitude.
I can tell her I won't put up with calling her boy friend from the house. Then she'd probably call him from in front of me. Or she would just say "whatever"...
I'm not sure I understand boundaries...can you point me to the famous "Coaches message about Boundaries?" Still new here, so trying to figure out the search. I'm not that technical.
Me:42 W:38 M:17 Announcement: Jan '10 S Filed: Mar '10
I can tell her I won't put up with calling her boy friend from the house. Then she'd probably call him from in front of me. Or she would just say "whatever"...
then you boot her a$$ down the highway.
Love is one thing.
BUT. being openly disrespected and ridiculed is cruel. and foolish to allow yourself to be exposed to this.
Why do you think she would act like that, while you proclaim your love to her?
The problem I think in my mind is that because we have no agreement, legal or otherwise, I don't have any position to set a boundary. Boundaries sound like things that I can enforce, but she has a very bad attitude.
Peabody, you don't need any agreements in place to set boundaries!
You are a HUMAN BEING -- created by God, and deserving of a certain amount of common decency and respect in your life. From strangers, from acquaintances, from friends and family, and especially from your own wife. LOVE is a choice -- you can't MAKE her love you. But how you allow others in your life to treat you, is completely up to YOU.
Would you allow the mailman to treat you this way? You don't have any legal agreement with him. Friends?? Why do you allow your wife to?
He can tell her she shouldn't do certain things, but she is really bad right now. She's going to do exactly what he tells her not to. The only thing he can do is either make her leave, leave himself, take away any resources he pays for.
