Hi Gr8, checking in on your new thread. Sounds like you've decided to take a new approach on your sitch. Good for you. I was a little surprised to see that you had decided to do this as you had been talking about some small positive signs from your W and talked about being patient. I can understand not wanting to continue down a cheeseless tunnel if that's what you see happening. I support you buddy. I hope this new step takes you in the direction and results you seek.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
Over the past few days I decided I need to make a move for myself. I am tired of dealing with a zombie. AKA my W. I know I said I thought I saw a small step but she's back t her sloth like self.
This is going to make me feel better. It will also let me know what direction I need to persue.
She has two choices: Agree to follow through with here "talk" or start thinking of a way to work on us.
Either way, I'm OK. I feel liberated today!
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I hope this new step takes you in the direction and results you seek.
I am searching for happiness, I am not happy being in this limbo situation.
I'll keep you and everyone else posted with next weeks developements.
gr8.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 04/14/1003:43 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Unfortunately have have no intel on this trip. The only thing I will have is me reading her actions and mood when I see her next week.
The trip itself is intel. The trip itself is evidence. These things ARE evidence of a very possible OM in the picture. Those ARE her actions. When there is an affair going on it is very very normal for the WS to take a trip with a "friend"..
The friend is "cover" so that you won't suspect anything. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book for affair people.
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W is going away for 4 days with D friend who is a bad influence. I'll let her enjoy her time then drop my own bomb.
She is going to enjoy her time for sure. And here you are helping and still wanting to be in denial. Get with the program. Either let go or do your homework and find someone to spy on her while she is on this trip. The evidence points a very real possibility that there is SOMETHING going on BESIDES a trip with a GF.
So...what about official "legal" actions? how should those be done given the "who cares" attitude?
1. Contest the Separation? basically it isn't mutual? I don't want anyone to THINK it is mutual. if I don't contest is that more a "whatever" statement?
If it is mutual, W can get D in 12 months, but if not 24.
Me:42 W:38 M:17 Announcement: Jan '10 S Filed: Mar '10
I only recently saw you posting here and have enjoyed your posts on other threads.
I do have my doubts that someone else is in the picture. I would send intel to investigate but she is jumping on a plane and heading south.
She doesn't know, I know who and where she's going.
This is why a feel I need to make a move. Enough of this passive showing her I changed crap. It's time for aggressive, I'm not taking this treatment any more.
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The friend is "cover" so that you won't suspect anything. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book for affair people.
I suspect there is OM in picture. And she's waiting for the right moment for "THEM" to work everything out for their best interest.
I will do more intel work next week regarding this matter too.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
It takes time. it took me 8 months to get where I'm at.
You will go through alot more pain and tears before you get here. I feel I'm all cried out for my W.
I envision a better life with someone who can communiate well and not throw in the towel so easily.
I hate quitters and cheaters.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
It takes time. it took me 8 months to get where I'm at.
You will go through alot more pain and tears before you get here. I feel I'm all cried out for my W.
I envision a better life with someone who can communiate well and not throw in the towel so easily.
I hate quitters and cheaters.
gr8, Yep, I know I have a long way to go... it seems like its getting better each day but then I have a setback. Having this site with folks that have been there before keep me sane when I'm feeling down.
Not a chance I will quit this M but if the W wants to WA then so be it. There are plenty of women out there who want what we want - a loving, working marriage! Thanks again for he support. ken
Too bad you don't know where she's going, nor able to confirm who she's with. Cuz I was thinking of a little infidelitus interruptus might be in order.
