My husband of almost 6 yrs ( we've been together for 15yrs total) recently told me that he wants to split up. He pulled the ILBNILWY, he actually told me he wants to be with me, but have someone on the side?? Although I know there isn't anyone on the side physically now, he is home when he is not at work. We have a 3yo son, our pride and joy! I've been following the DB 180's and such for a couple of weeks. The thing is, he has been acting as if nothing has changed. Always wanting to hug me, looking at me like he used to. We are still living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, but currently our marriage is in name only! No intimacy!! he is always asking me what i am thinking about, I don't tell him because it's usually about R, I refuse to talk about that! I try to be strong and not get upset, but unfortunatly I do! Although Sat. night is when I finally snapped and deccided that I wasn't going to let this ruin my life! He noticed the change in my attitude and wanted to know why, I told him I need to get on with my life. The sad thing is we are going on a "family trip" next week, taking our son to "The Most Happiest Place"! It was where we went on our honeymoon, it was gonna be like an early anniversary trip (our anniversary is 5/20)/ first time for our lil man. I asked him if he still wanted to go, he asked me if I wanted him to, I told him yea for son, then he asked me if I wanted him to go for me? I told him, idk. I think he is confused and doesn't really know what he wants. He has been going thru a lot the past couple of months, thinking he was gonna lose his job. He's been depressed, making me depressed,not eating, I've lost at least 10lbs, that i don't need to! But any way, I am confused, I feel as though he is sending me mixed signals. IDK?
Lori, sorry you are here. I am by no means an expert here but I want to let you know others will be around soon.
What I can tell you is I had/have a problem with anxiety and maybe some depression. They both take a toll on the marriage. I didn't realize my problem until my W left and it took me a good 4 months to realize I had these problems
Try not to get depressed b/c your H is. My W did and it brought our R to an end.
If your H is suffering from depression it needs to be addressed and you will have to be strong enough not to feel hopeless.
I'm not sure how to handle your trip so I will leave that up to the experts here.
keep posting your feelings and sitchuation.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
My H is still very huggy, I go into another room to watch TV and he'll follow me there, just to hug me. Last night after I had gone to bed, comes in to give me a hug and look at me with his puppy dog eyes?? Then when he comes to bed, he say's "hey baby" then gives me another hug. He asks me what I am thinking, I tell him (nothing about R), then I ask him what he is thinking, he told me that he couldn't believe that we've lived in our house for 5yrs and he doesn't want to leave ????? Then he told me he was hoping that we have a good time on our trip. Although this moring when he left to go to work, he didn't give me a hug, as he has for the past couple of mornings??? He hasn't mentioned anything about separating though. So I guess that's a good sign??? Im still confused and I feel as though he is still giving me mixed signals. Any one have any advice?? Thanks
I didn't mention anything about an open marriage. He knows I wouldn't go for it, that's why he wants to separate. But there currently isn't anyone else, at least physically. He is home, if he is not at work.
My husband of almost 6 yrs ( we've been together for 15yrs total) recently told me that he wants to split up. He pulled the ILBNILWY, he actually told me he wants to be with me, but have someone on the side?? Although I know there isn't anyone on the side physically now, he is home when he is not at work. We have a 3yo son, our pride and joy! I've been following the DB 180's and such for a couple of weeks. The thing is, he has been acting as if nothing has changed. Always wanting to hug me, looking at me like he used to. We are still living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, but currently our marriage is in name only! No intimacy!! he is always asking me what i am thinking about, I don't tell him because it's usually about R, I refuse to talk about that! I try to be strong and not get upset, but unfortunatly I do! Although Sat. night is when I finally snapped and deccided that I wasn't going to let this ruin my life! He noticed the change in my attitude and wanted to know why, I told him I need to get on with my life. The sad thing is we are going on a "family trip" next week, taking our son to "The Most Happiest Place"! It was where we went on our honeymoon, it was gonna be like an early anniversary trip (our anniversary is 5/20)/ first time for our lil man. I asked him if he still wanted to go, he asked me if I wanted him to, I told him yea for son, then he asked me if I wanted him to go for me? I told him, idk. I think he is confused and doesn't really know what he wants. He has been going thru a lot the past couple of months, thinking he was gonna lose his job. He's been depressed, making me depressed,not eating, I've lost at least 10lbs, that i don't need to! But any way, I am confused, I feel as though he is sending me mixed signals. IDK?
Him wanting someone on the side means he wants an open marriage.
What did you say to him?
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
I didn't mention anything about an open marriage. He knows I wouldn't go for it, that's why he wants to separate. But there currently isn't anyone else, at least physically. He is home, if he is not at work.
