I’ve decided to move over to piecing since most of the people I’ve been reading and watching are in piecing themselves. My original thread is below. Mostly been lurking but am always looking for suggestions and help.
Since my last post, Sandi advised me to start some pursuing. W told me she once before that she appreciated the little notes I left her, so I started leaving them again. First one I left two weeks ago was thanking her for her help around the house and that I appreciated that. Got a text thanking me for the “Nice” note.
Last week, left on a trip to the Frozen Four with our two sons. She was home alone for the weekend and was planning on going to a concert with her sister and a couple of friends and also running in a 5K with her brother and niece. Left a note telling her to have a good time at the concert and wishing her good luck and how much I admired her for her drive to get in shape for the 5K. Told her to have a fun weekend and that she was looking great, and sexy. No response to this note
Did think about W and our M many times while I was gone. I expected to come home and find her contacting OM again. She had been texting him on Easter Sunday. Nothing with OM over the weekend, except a couple of texts between the two of them after I got home on Sunday. She did some spring cleaning around the house – I told her it looked very nice and thanked her for doing some of the yard work.
I’ve been asking her to some “dates” over the past couple of weeks – movie, dinner. Rebuffed each time; she had other plans (with some of her friends) or was too tired, or “I have to run to get ready for the race”.
I’m seeing some positive signs, but still get the gut feeling she’s not happy with me or our M. Sandi cautioned that she may be getting comfortable with the current arrangement – cake eating. I’m looking for ways to move forward, even if it’s a little bit at a time.
Any thoughts on approaching her to go to Retrouvaille? Any other suggestions?
Thanks for the 2x4. I've spent the last several weeks thinking hard about what you said. The communcation with the OM I noted aboved is from the mass texts that she sends out on holidays, etc... to everyone on her phone list. Yes OM is still on those lists. I'm torn on confrontation about this. Telling her that I need her to stop it and for her to remove his number from her phone, will give away my intel sources. I continue to have the ability to check her cell phone and her activities, without having to expose my sources. It is spying. I know that and also know she is not communicating with OM, except when sending out those mass texts. I'm not in piceing either. I'm here to seek advice from the experts on how to move into piecing. It's coming up on two years since bomb #1. It's been almost a year since bomb #2. It's been several months of many small positive movements. I'm still following the advice from Sandy on not bringing up any R talk and not intitiating any physical contact. But the fear is that she is now moving into cake eating and becoming comfortable in a platonic relationship. Looking for suggestions on how to begin to push forward, or if I even should. Reading here has made me realize that I'm not in piecing yet, but how do you get there when W doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to go to MC, doesn't want to acknowledge any progress and won't talk to you, while at the same time not inititating any R talks? The last time I asked about "us" - "how am I doing, how are we doing", she just walked away and said nothing. I acted as if. So any thoughts?
The last time I asked about "us" - "how am I doing, how are we doing", she just walked away and said nothing. I acted as if.
that isn't right... make yourself a little scarse,it does seem that she is getting all she wants without giving any and only thinks of herself... women do love an attentive man, but she seems to just take advantage of your patience. Give yourself a deadline, how many months you choose, then do talk to her... btdt, I know R talk should'nt be brought up at the beginning or too often, but by the looks it something will have to be said eventually.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
