She LEFT out of the house because you did not like her emailing pictures of her cooch to guys in the internet. and you are still allowing her to control you? Bob, Mike, Ed, Tony whoever your names is, something is not right reading this thread.
Didnt I read she was talking to the other men last night?
Bet she wasnt arguing about cars and money, with them. Bet my strip steak tonight she wasnt arguing with them at all.
What are you her whipping boy?
Ignore her and spend the rest of the night changing the locks, putting her stuff on the porch and getting your evidence together for your lawyer appointment tomorrow. Go get a pint.
I hope the car issue is settled. She really, really should not be driving your car. It's your car right? She is not on the title, is that correct? She has no license and no insurance correct? Why would you, why would anyone expose themselves like that?
You can probably go on line and set the automatic payment to pull a certain amount (your half of the mortgage) from your account and the other half from hers.
Stand strong, calm, and confident. Do not antagonize or be petulant, just cool.
BTW tomorrow when she wants you to come by and pick her up for work, tell her, I leave THIS house for work at xxx time. You are welcome to join me, if indeed, you feel she is actually welcome to join you. If not, she can find her own ride. Don't go pick her up. She said you were "done". That would also mean you are "done" doing favors for her.
you don't have to drive her to work, my goodness guys, you are making it more complicated than it needs to be, if she can be a big girl and find other men to fart around with I'm sure she's capable of finding a ride to work or taking the bus or calling a cab or whatever!
You don't have to drive her to work. In fact, give yourself some space from her, as in maintaining little to no contact and not seeing her at all.
She LEFT out of the house because you did not like her emailing pictures of her cooch to guys in the internet. and you are still allowing her to control you? Bob, Mike, Ed, Tony whoever your names is, something is not right reading this thread.
Didnt I read she was talking to the other men last night?
Bet she wasnt arguing about cars and money, with them. Bet my strip steak tonight she wasnt arguing with them at all.
What are you her whipping boy?
Ignore her and spend the rest of the night changing the locks, putting her stuff on the porch and getting your evidence together for your lawyer appointment tomorrow. Go get a pint.
Ugh, now a guilt trip text. She's asking if I'm going to take one of our pets away from her. He's more or less the only one of them that early doesn't favor one of us over the other.
it's not a guilt trip, tell her that you're not going to take the pet away, tell her to stop texting you, she can pick up the pet anytime. Do this and it's one less thing she can complain about.
Well, I made it clear to her that no car until she gets her license back. I told her that before, I was willing to take a risk like that but, I'm not putting myself in a situation like that for her anymore. I have to take care of and look out for myself. No response from her.
Man, I can't believe that I'm filing for divorce tomorrow morning. It's weird. Of course I'm sad that it's come to this and things didn't work out, but I kind of have a calm feeling now. I'm tired of this limbo we're in and it's obvious that she'd put off filing for as long as possible with nothing changing.
WTF are you doing answering her texts and talking with her?
You just FAILED her tests! You started off right... her own mother even told you... YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON who has ever stood up to her.
You can't believe you're filing tomorrow? I can't believe that you are allowing yourself to be suckered back into her little games again.
She wants to know what time to come pick up her clothes... you answer. She wants to know about the pet... you answer.
I don't care about how "strong" your answers were... you FAILED BY ANSWERING!
Gno just shakes his head and wonders when these guys are going to get it that a man only talks FACE TO FACE... and if circumstances prevent that... BY VOICE. Teenagers and immature people hide behind 3rd parties, texts and emails. Grow up handle this like an adult.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Whoa, hang on a sec. I haven't replied to any of her texts or questions. Not about her clothes and not about the pet. I don't know if she ever came by for clothes while I was out, I didn't really bother to check the closet after I got home. And I TOLD her about the car. It wasn't face to face, but over the phone. It's a situation that's been hanging out there and I had to make it 100% clear what my stance was and that she wasn't getting it. I didn't leave any room for an argument from her and I wouldn't have allowed it if she tried.
While I can't go as hard core as Steve and Rob, I think Gno makes a good point. How many days have you ever gone without responding to her texts and calls. You still seem like you are waiting at her back and call.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle a comment like this? She said that it wasn't like she saw herself even dating this guy online, let alone marrying him, but the fact that she's gotten to a point where she actually wants to meet someone in person from online means that it's not going to work between us anymore.
Okay, I read a few more pages forward and I've had enough.
Son, it is time to put her ass on the street. Not in a nasty way, but in a very straight forward, matter-of-fact way, tell her to come pick up her stuff and if she does not you will put it on the street for her or whoever else wants her stuff.
And then be prepared to actually do this. Tell her should invite her married loveinterest and his wife to move her out.
No begging to stay, no sleeping in another room. She wants to live as if she is not married to you and be sexual with other men outside of the marriage, then it is time for her to be in an environment that is conducive to that AND THAT IS NOT UNDER YOUR ROOF!
You have not said, but I'm willing to bet, you or she have not told her mother, her sister and the coworkers you carpool with that she is having an affair in detail. If she wants to go to her mom's and have an affair, then she's going to do it NO MATTER WHAT. But tell her mom this is unaccepatable behavior and you are not going to tolerate it. That way her mom will know why her daughter is no longer living with you.
It is time to do this to put it out in the open because if she has no shame about her behavior, then there is no sense in hiding it, is there?. This is the news flash that she does not want to admit to: She is having an affair (even if she only claims it is something "emotional" everything you will read on this topic will tell you that there is essentially no difference between between the sexual intercourse outside of the marriage and this game she is playing). It is time for you to realize this and stop playing the confusion card and concealing it.
There is no longer any reason to believe her or trust her. Trust is given and can be withdrawn at any time for any reason, she is not "entitled" to it. She has given you the reason.
If she uses the "it's my house too," then tell her that she can go into court and argue that point with the judge and why why she should be allowed to conduct something that is illegal under the law from the house she shares out of a legally recognized privilege. (I'm willing to bet that in the eyes of the law it is at least a civil if not a criminal offense in every US State). The law expects you conduct yourself in a certain way to be afforded the legal recognition of shared property and access to it. She has forfeited that, though she is probably entitled to any capital gain and on the hook for any capital loss on the property. If she wants a roommate to share costs, then that is something she can arrange outside of marriage.
Second, and this is very important for your own health and well-being,...consider her as if she is infected with HIV and act accordingly. I would be very explicit about this. She has now given you cause to require proof that she is neither infected nor has she slept with someone who is infected. If she has shown such poor judgement from within the marriage, it is time for her to prove that she is "safe" to sleep with whether she remains married to you or not.
Note: this is a really good reason to reveal this to the other man's wife because one or both of them are putting HER at risk. I would tell your wife this....that his wife needs to know for her own health protection. Do you want to be party to that as well?
If your wife objects ask her this: is she willing to expose herself and everyone else that she sleeps with to HIV/AIDS? If the answer is yes, then you have all you need to walk away. No, run away.
I know this is a tough posting to you. You love your wife and you want things to work out. Been there, done that, have the commemorative T-shirt from 26 years ago. I wanted to work things out, loved her beyond all reason, but it became evident that she was unwilling to reel herself in. I enabled the behavior for a time and you are doing nothing but enabling her behavior. Someone also pointed that out to you further along.
As also pointed out further below, the other married man is "stealing" from you. Now it's up to you whether you want to castrate him or not (I'd let his wife do that even if you have justification, though in Texas, you could probably win the Governor's office by actually doing it). This is fun and exciting for both of them as long as it is concealed and you are helping them in that regard.
It may end your marriage but it is already badly broken anyway. There is no problem with being torn and not wanting to make things worse, but everything you've written here shows that you are in a death spiral and things are getting worse or are they are worse than you first thought.
I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but somebody needs to wake you up because being polite about it has not gotten you anywhere.
The Captain Kobayashi Maru
Last sex: 04/06/1997 Last attempt: 11/11/1997 W Issues "No Means No" Declaration: 11/11/1997 W chooses to terminate sex 05/1998 I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds. Start running again (marathons)
