help some advice plse..have i finished it for good

[JacT]

My sis saw them having lunch, they didnt see her.She said they were not a happy couple.He looked very stoney faced and she looked solemn.She said they were not looking like a happy couple at all.When the txt came she said thats what she looked like as if she had just given an ultimatium.Early evening my brother saw H running home from work he usually has her car.Could it be that the R is starting to show cracks, is she seeing something thats making her feel insecure??? The txt still isnt showing he is a man desperate for D.I know its not what he wants.Shes clearly strarting to show true colours.It is my 22nd wedding anniversary today.Wonder if hes feeling it?

Thanks Bond I wont.Have been keeping up with your sitch looks as if you are getting there slowly but surely...

[JacT]

I have not responded to the txt as suggested by Bond.I met his cousin on Thur and he had told me he met H.He had a really bad cold which seems par for the course these days.He has never been unwell in our 29 years..never yet never been well this last year.His cousin asked if he had seen the girls and he said No.His cousin said he had been a fool to go straight to her never mind having an A in the first place.His cousin told him I was looking great after losing 4 stones in weight.He said yes I know my dad told me.Cousin said if he is not happy he is making a good job of hiding it.I responded by saying he had no idea what H was capable of hiding.(He doent know about CDG) Oh well wasnt a happy man Thur....can only watch this space.

[JacT]

This weeks been a hard one.I am really msiing H but def beyond needy stage.I would love for him tto be home and life to be normal but it aint gonna happen.I have learned alot this last year and looking for a job continues to b a priority. I worry about not telling him I do not want a divorce but taking the advice of the guys here that have the experience.

[JacT]

Well nothing new to report.Its been 11 days since H sent the txt and he hasnt chased a response.Its hard being NC but easier that I cannot see what is happening in their R.I believe it is starting to fall to pieces but keeping expectations and everything at zero.

[lees]

Keep hanging on in there JacT. You've been a rock for me of late, hope I can be the same.

And you're spot on about trying not to have any expectations - they just lead to disappointment!

Any news on the job front?

[JacT]

Its not happening on the job front..so slow.This is my priority in the short term.Got to keep a roof over our heads and with no income and the savings dwindling, I am worried.Might need to uproot and head south...

[JacT]

I have not heard anything more from H on the txt front.All has gone quiet now 18 days after the latest one.I am not sure what space he is in but he doesnt seem to be pushing D, she is without a doubt.I dont feel, despite what he does that divorce is the right thing.I am not feeling any desire to end my marriage.

[JacT]

My h appeared at his works night out with the OW.They were very uncomfortable for all of the evening and didnt mingle.He even had to take her to the loo and had to wait outside for her! they left early..his senior boss wife said to our mutal friend who was also there,Look at him,who the hell does he thinnk he is, and as for her shes a dog..H did introduce her to our friend although briefly only becuase she bumped into them..she said he was very plain and dowdy and seriously lacking in confidence. She said her hair was poker straight and stuck to her head..he didnt ask for her H who was one of his best friends.She said he no longer cares.I said it wasnt about caring it was about avoidance to deal with hurt he has caused to many people...What a way to live..her knowing that everyone there know what she is and whats she done to a family..and him thinking everyone likes him and just laughing at the fool he making of himself....

[JacT]

Yes I have finished it for good.H sent a lawyers letter today saying he wants to see kids, I have been stopping this and I have a duty to make sure it happens.He wants a seperation agreement and half all assests including the house***I**** bought for my parents.Stupidly put his name on the mortgage.I am hoping this is his way of getting his D ie he will sign over assests for a divorce.He can have it.I am disgusted at his behaviour..threatening to put his kids and very sick dad in law on the street...I am not standing.I deserve better.

[lees]

Yes you do Jac. SO much better, as do your girls.