First of all, you should keep one thread. It helps to others can find you easier.
Second, your MIL cannot "convince" your H to dump you. In the end it is HIS decision. If HE chooses to be influenced by his parents, then that's his choice.
Don't fight against the current because it's going to end up being a losing battle. As hard as it is, don't feed into his ego or what he believes right now. As much as you can, step aside and give him space. Don't let his actions bother you if possible. No matter what you do or say, he will do and say the exact opposite just because you said it first.
As much as you can, keep the interactions short with just 'yes', 'no' and 'hmmm I'm sorry you feel that way" and then walk away. He can't argue with you if you don't argue back. Just walk away. You can do it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
i moved the thread here because i thought the newcomers forum was just for intros only. i figure i would move to a specific forum to find answers or advice for my situation. but agreed.
if this is his decision, then it will give me much to think about when we go to court.
i have been handling things just as you described. no confrontation. h just throws a temper tantrum like a child! you can see that it is making him more angry. is that what i want to do tho?
btw, just a thought. in some ways, it feels like an EA between h and his mother. he calls her every single day. this is why i often refer to her as the OW.
How old are you and your H? Add that to your signature line.
It sounds like he's going through an MLC. An MLC is like a second childhood. Think of him as such. He will pitch a tantrum, stomp his feet, raise his voice until he gets what he wants. Don't get sucked into HIS drama.
Think of a little kid. When they throw a tantrum, do you give in and pacify the child by appeasing them? NO. All it does is satisfy them for the moment and they have learned that each time they raise their voice and act "hurt" or angry, they will get what they want in the end.
Be the "adult" ignore him because these are HIS feelings. HE will have to deal with them. Not you.
"you can see that it is making him more angry. is that what i want to do tho?"
First thing you need to do is realize that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR H'S HAPPINESS. If he gets mad, it's his choice. You haven't done anything to be hurtful get him mad at you. It's just that he CHOOSES to be mad at you.
So YOU CHOOSE to not let it bother you. Understand that you aren't going to be able to change his mind and he will definitely tell you the opposite of what you believe. He sees you as the enemy. Hard to see it, but it's true.
It's nothing that you did, it's all within him. And likewise, the only person who can get him out of it, is himself.
Do what you need to do. Take care of yourself and your own needs. YOU are going to need support now more than ever. Go out with friends and family or reconnect with them. Don't make his drama, yours.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
before i continue, should this thread be moved to a different forum? i don't want to break the rules and be banned from this community. i need the support badly. if it is ok to continue here, then i will. like i said it feels like an EA (emotional affair) between mother and son which is why i posted here.
