Hi All, I have been here in 06. My h divorced me but I followed these techniques and we have been together since. When my son started going through the same thing, I encouraged him to fight for his marriage. He is willing and loves his wife but does not have a computer so I am here again! Kinda strange I know but he has so many questions and I need a third party or parties here! My son has been married for only 4 years but in the relationship for 8. They have a two year old daughter. They were a couple who swore that they would never have a child but to everyones shock, my daughter in law became pregnant. It really semed to all of us that she changed after the birth of their daughter but we as a family did not interfere. Last month my son called me to tell me that he did something horrible. He kissed a co- worker and told his wife because he could not live with his guilt. His wife first cried and wanted to save the marriage but a week later she moved out. Two weeks later she told him that she did not love him. Now it is 3 weeks and she has said she wants to share a lawyer and file for a divorce. My son loves his wife deeply and wants to save his marriage. She has told him that all the changes he is making is to late. I know for a fact that it is never to late but I do not know if my advice is enough so I thought I would seek advice here
Not sure the "changes" he is making matter at this time. He did a single act that was wrong. This has obviously hurt his wife badly. She is probably not going to get over this anger and rejection in the few weeks it has been.
As an example, when my wife and I were dating, she was angry when she found out that I had went to a "gentlemen's club" with my college roommates before her and I were dating. She was angry for a while, then she expressed her feelings that she felt it was degrading. I told her I would not go again and she forgave me. Oh, and I have not been back.
Kissing a co worker is a physical act and going to take more time to get past.
Now he may not choose to do this, but here's what I would consider. I would make an appt with a lawyer for about a week or two from now for the two of them to go. This will show her that he is respecting her wishes. Seeing a lawyer does not mean a divorce will be filed.
My thoughts would be to cooperate with her and see if she reacts positively. He also needs to change shifts, change jobs, or something to begin to regain his wife's trust. That's not quick or easy.
