So, I left. I have no idea if it was the right thing to do, but I did it.
Husband and I have been married almost 12 yrs. Hb suffers from depression/anxiety for which he takes medication and has sought therapy. He also comes from an abusive alcoholic home.
I discovered about a year ago that he was having an affair. When confronted, he said that he wanted to work on the marriage and cut off all ties. We started conventional marriage counseling, but continue in a vicious cycle with no progress really being made.
He continues to be unhappy - in his words "not at peace". For as long as I've known him he's been a tortured soul. He's convinced it's b/c of the marriage. He continues to say he loves me dearly, our emotional connection is strong, but he's miserable.
The hardest part is it's not always bleak. We are really good friends and have wonderful times together, but then his black cloud moves in and he isolates and doesn't communicate. In January, he finally decided that we needed to separate. He packed up his things and moved out and was gone for all of 24 hours. He came home and said it was the worst mistake he'd ever made and he couldn't live without me. All was great for a few days, but within a week, we were right back to the old pattern, once again I could feel the tension descending and he began to isolate and not communicate.
This last week, I finally had had enough. He couldn't tell me if he was "in" or "out" of the relationship or what he wanted. I told him that he needed to figure it out and until he did, I was leaving, so I did. He was crushed, I was crushed, but something had to change.
Our sex life is non-existant. The meds that he's on don't help the situation, but he also tells me that he's just not physically attracted to me any more.
So where do I go from here? How do I even begin to proceed? Can't even know where to start...
