Just a note to those who have followed me (I posted from 2006-2009) especially Snodderly, I just want to thank you for all of the support you gave me over the years.
When last I posted my H had just committed suicide on September 25. The pain and the realization of what he had done during MLC coupled with the drinking and taunting from OW was too much for him to bear.
There is so much I have found out during the months that had followed. I know my H was so very troubled and after he got out of the mental hospital and returnded to OW's home, he tried to "fix" himself with medication and therapy, but didn't like what he saw. What he became. What he did. I believe he was starting to see OW for what she really is....a lying, manipulative person. He could not live with himself and began drinking to excess. He was drunk when he shot himself. Arguing with OW. Not in his right mind.
Today, I find myself still dealing with OW. After H died, she forged over $10,000 in checks from my H's account. He had inherited money from an aunt that past and she took what was left (prior to his passing....his bank statements show she took what she could while he was alive too).
I took the matter to the D.A. and she is ordered to make full restitution in 30 days (in order to enter a 1 year rehab program) or she will be going to trial.He is a new DA with a win in a case similar to this already.... I saw her at the preliminary hearing....she looks like hell.
As for me and the kids we are taking things one day at a time. They both have emotional moments but counseling and family help. S18 has his GF and is now accepted into the college where I work...so free education for him. D15, daddy's girl, sometimes gives me a run for my money...but mostly she is a great kid. I am getting her a kitten from the shelter this week for her birthday and she can't wait.
We have rented townhouse, sold our house, and are settled in. H's family has been wonderful. We are included in everything. MIL is full of guild. She did so much enabling of H....but she is not to blame.
FOr those of you still going through this with your H's please know that this is not really them. This is not your fault and the OW are just sick twisted baind-aids. I truly believe, and was told, in the end, if my H could, he would have returned. He was just too far gone and too filled with guilt.
Again, thank you for posting this. This is a real part of MLC, depression that can lead to suicide. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Your post may help save a ML'er.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I just went and read much of your post when you came back on the board in your new name.
I remember reading your journey.
Thank you so much for posting - and sharing - and being so very very open.
My x attemtped suicide in July of 2007 and didn't suceed. As with you - he touched base with me when he did it.. The ambulance got there - and he lived. AND as with you I spent time in the ICU with him.. every day..
Since then he has not ever faced his issues.. yet he is "living". YET after reading your post I wonder if he will ever try this again....
What you and your kids have gone through. I am so very sorry. So very sorry.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
A, I'm so glad that you returned to post an update. You and your children will be okay. I know it's difficult being a single parent, but you fought the good fight and learned from your experiences. Those lessons will now be w/you throughout your life.
It sounds like you and the children have now settled in and I'm happy to read that your inlaws are being supportive. Your little one will enjoy a kitten and right now, she needs something that she can call her own.
As for the ow, I'm glad you are handling this the way you are and hopefully, you will get the money back and put it in a savings account for a rainy day. It's so sad to read just how they take the mlcer to the cleaners.
I do hope that you are doing some things for yourself as well. You deserve all the very best that life has to offer. God is most definitely watching over you and your family. Take care of yourself and do not be a stranger.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am so very very sorry for your loss.