saying thank you and showing my appreciation i have been doing...yesterday when i thanked him for going on line and paying the phone bill...he barked back at me that HE DIDNT WANT TO BE THANKED???
didnt understand that...kind tone of voice,truly thankful...idk
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
You can link your old thread to this one by copying the url into the reply and vice versa. Then hit the notify button on the bottom right and ask them to lock your old thread!
Your doing good. Look at the progress you made since the start of your old thread!
Keep up the good work. Manners come in handy in all cases. Of course he barked! He wanted you to revert back to saying nothing. Keep validating. Eventually he will see that you truly mean each and every word.
Do something extra special for yourself this weekend!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
thanks OP!!! couldnt figure it out...im not computer savvy!
snodderly,
took more of your advice...took the girls to see Alice in Wonderland, went to the mall, ate awesome Japanese food...then ice cream and finished the day off visiting my sis, bil and nephew!!!
didnt answer the phone, nor did i let anyone know where we were going or when we would be home!
im soooooooooo proud of myself!!!!! YEAH ME!!!!!
cried the whole way home, cause i new the house would be empty...girls were sleeping so no one knows...but me and all of my friends here! still a GREAT Saturday for me and the girls! they had a blast as well as me, and they behaved like angels
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
lost 1234-I have been reading up on your old thread! I am amazed so far, only to page 11, how close our sitch's are (except mine includes the OW) but I was just reading what you wrote about "why does it seem MLCers are always in a hurry?"! That is one of the things I have noticed about my H is that he is always in a hurry to leave when I know dang well, he has nothing to going on really...wow! Anyway, going to keep reading...seems like you are doing well!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Hey there, I found you here at last! I looked for you on the alt - sorry to miss you and glad you had a good NC day yesterday. Proud of you! Let's try to chat tomorrow if you like.
Continue to back way off and let him be. Let him make his own decisions, for better or worse.
Do some 180's - what have you not validated him on in the past? Validate them now.
Also, try to really listen to what he is feeling and needing under all the blather - it's not so much what you say, but if you can truly try to see things from his perspective, and continue to ask "Tell me more about that ..." kind of questions that open him up to do his own talking, he may calm down a bit.
i have been overlooking the blather and trying to hear what he is really feeling...
i believe he wants to come home but cant at this time because of the fear that things will continue on the way the were b4.
he takes great care of the girls and myself...his actions speak much louder than his words.
hasnt mentioned the d word in some tome...however he did today...i also believe this is his way of scaring me into backing off even more.i think he hides behind it.which leaves me wondering again if a d is what he really wants...i tend to think not that he wants his time and space to get through all of this without any interruptions from me or anyone else.
i know they do it...but why go from one extreme to the other? to come home and enter counceling one week and then back to divorce and no hope a week or two later? what am I missing?
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
