Become aware of what triggers those negative emotions then dispute them. ABCDE.
ABCDE? Could you refresh my memory on this?
Peace,
G,
Its from "Learned Optimism." It basically stands for a process that you go through when you are depressed/angry, whatever. The gist of it is you search for the trigger that's causing your reaction, and I mean the base of it - it's usually a belief you have.
Once you identify the belief/thought that's the trigger, you question whether it is a reasonable belief/thought. 99.9% of the time, it is unreasonable (e.g., "I'll never find someone again.").
Then flip the thought/belief around to a reasonable one (e.g., "It may take some time, but the chances of me being alone the rest of my life are slim. And even if I am, I won't be lonely.").
Change your thoughts and your emotions will follow. Not the other way around.
Become aware of what triggers those negative emotions then dispute them. ABCDE.
ABCDE? Could you refresh my memory on this?
Peace,
G, Here's a version:
Quote:
The ABCDE Method of Learned Optimism: A - Adversity - Define the problem. B - Belief - Define the belief system that is interpreting that adversity. C - Consequences - Define the consequences arising from the adversity and the (in)action. D - Disputation - Argue the core belief and effectively dispute the belief that follow the adversity. E - Energization - The positive feelings that overcome the negative thoughts after the disputation step.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Well folks, my D decree should be signed off by tomorrow. Ready to have this chapter of my life finished.
Now, my family is my children and me. And that's just fine. I know they love me, really love me. Not because they have to, but because they want to.
I took the kids to school this morning, as I usually do, and they are pretty excited for out Disney trip this weekend. So am I.
Our Their cat died over the weekend, and my S was upset about it last night when I called to talk to the kids on the phone. I told him I was sorry and understand he was sad (so was I) but that it would be ok. It seemed to calm him down.
I am optimistic about the future, and I've already begun meeting new friends, some of whom are very attractive women. I am going to do some budgeting for the future to set some goals for getting back into a house/townhouse and to set aside some money for travel. I put that off far too long under the guise of being a "good husband" and not spending my family's money.
And, of course, I will budget savings for the kids, mostly b/c I don't think stbxw will. That, and I love my children.
