Oh, I wish you hadn't done that. All is not lost, but you did make it hard on yourself. She's pressuring you and not acting like herself. You gave in to the person she's become, who is not your W. Don't leave the house, stay, be kind, be polite, refuse to get involved in any arguments, validate, validate, validate. In my state, the spouse who leaves will not get custody - it's considered abandonment. Distance yourself, do something new - take up an exercise program, music lessons, a new language, anything. Become mysterious. She's winning because she knows she is affecting you. Distancing yourself emotionally - detaching - is critical here. Get a life. YOU NEED to do these things. She will get pissed, oh yes, she sounds volatile, she will get angrier than a tornado... but eventually when that doesn't work to get her way, she will realize and change tactics. Hope you like roller coasters. Keep us posted.
day three still hasent filed the papers today is saturday so i guess today doesnt count. I feel that she is going out of her way to push my buttons, i didnt react but i really wanted to she didnt take the apartment she looked at nor did she take the one i told her i found. I really need to find something to take up my time after work. Been going to the gym but need something else I dont really like going to bsrs in my state there isnt a lot to do when its 20 below 0 any suggestions would be helpfull. See what tomorrow will bring
me 46 w 42 m 18 years this april two boys 24 & 14 bomb nov. 9 2009 still fighting to hold on
I didnt think it would happen, but she filed the papers today not sure what to think. She plans on moving out on the 1st of april, time is running short, I have 120 days untill the D becomes final.
me 46 w 42 m 18 years this april two boys 24 & 14 bomb nov. 9 2009 still fighting to hold on
I know how you feel. I remember the day I received the divorce summons. I remember reading ""Defendant is guilty of inappropriate marital conduct . . ." and thinking WTF??? I remember reading a sentence about her maiden name being restored and feeling hurt. And then at the bottom, her signature to it all. I know how you feel. It sucks! The good news for you is: a lot can change in 120 days.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
she denies everything, my brother found a program to download on her computer but I thought that might be to extreme, I figure if i give her enough rope she will eventually hang herself. Its a matter of time untill she makes a mistake I truly believe in carma.
me 46 w 42 m 18 years this april two boys 24 & 14 bomb nov. 9 2009 still fighting to hold on
You have to trust me on this...she IS having an affair. When I accessed my W's email accounts I was blown away. Hundreds of pages of love notes and cybersex. You're probably right, she will screw up at some point, but it may be too late. For what, I don't know.
Karma does have a way of working and to be honest with you, you might be better off not knowing the details like I learned. But to reiterate, she is having an affair. Probably an ex-boyfriend.
Oh and what is too extreme about tapping into her computer? She is totally disrupting your life and lying to your face.
I feel for ya, brother. Hang in there.
MICrazy
Me: 45 W: 43 M: 10 T: 15 S7 S3
My Sitch: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...823#Post1942823
