Reading Recommendations in one place

[gutwrenching]

ALL -
I have read a lot of recommended books for people to read other than DR and DB. I myself am at a point where I've exhausted my first list of books and ready for some more and I thought it might be helpful to all to have one thread with reading recommendations.

Just quick blurb and then the title(s). Something like here are three good books for the "nice guy" or here are two books good for someone dealing with affairs, etc.

I know I'd like to learn from some others experience on good reading material.

[mrbt]

I just started reading a book titled: Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel.

I am just a couple of chapters into the book at this point. I find it both insightful and disturbing at the same time (you will understand what I mean).

I don't expect this book will provide practical solutions for divorce busters. However, I do think it provides insight into what drives a walk-away-spouse. The book also sheds some light on why detaching and getting a life can help.

Below are two quotes from a review of this book that I think illustrate my points.

"Passion demands you discard all that's dear to you - so what are you waiting for?"

"The cozy closeness of marriage does not often promote unruly desire; that children, the fruit of eros, are sometimes simultaneously its end; and that knowing everything about a person domestically or psychologically does not always make one crave that person biblically."

Link to a review of the book
Mating In Captivity

[Kimmie Lee]

This is a great idea.

I recommend:

Split: A Memoir of Divorce by Suzanne Finnamore

This is the only book I've read that rings true to me. I don't bother with "self-help" books anymore because I've realized that the only thing they really do is "help" the authors get rich.

[Number 8]

gutwrenching, VERY cool idea to do this. I have a few recommendations.

1. Feeling Good Together: The Secret To Making Troubled Relationships Work by David D. Burns, MD
The back cover says, "In it, you'll learn how to stop pointing fingers at everyone else and start looking at yourself; how to pinpoint the exact cause of the problem with any person you're not getting along with; and how to solve virtually any kind of relationship conflict almost instantly."

2. The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning To Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols, PhD
The back cover says, "Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener--and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations."

3. The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are by Dr. Kevin Leman
The back cover says, "Birth order powerfully influences who you are, whom you marry, the job you choose, and the kind of parent you are. [The author's book] will help you understand yourself, get along better with others, overcome ingrained tendencies you never thought you could get rid of, and be more successful in the workplace." (VERY good book. I was fascinated by what it said!)

4. The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive-aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces by Long, Long, and Whitson
This is a great book to read if you deal with a passive-aggressive person. It is an incredibly enlightening read, and it has great situations/scenarios that are very illustrative. It also made me aware of things I do that may come across as or actually be passive aggressive. I highly recommend it!

[flowmom]

I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead
You'll never look at love the same way. "The Work" is a very useful tool for processing painful thoughts.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Explains gender differences in communication and how to understand that downward spiral that happens when communication breaks down in marriage.

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
This outlines gender differences in women's and men's needs in marriage. A good place to start when you can't figure out why your spouse was so unhappy that s/he had an A, moved out, etc.

A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted
If your spouse sees you as a negative person, this is something you can start today to do a 180 for your own benefit and to become a person that people want to be around. Read this short book ASAP after starting the challenge to get answers to all of the FAQs.

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
Dumb title, but very useful book with specific guidelines on how to put your guy into "pursuer" mode. For all the "nice" girls out there.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
One of the best and easiest to read parenting books ever and good inspiration for dealing with parenting challenges during a tough time. Also recommended by my DB coach as a primer on how to communicate with my H.