OK..so a few of you know who I am. It's been awhile since I've done any posting; but I've been lurking. But a D filing is imminent; not sure who'll do it first but it's coming. Honestly, I should've done it last January but I was DB'ing.
In the past year and a half I have done a lot of work on me and was in a good emotional place. Looking back I think that my progress really was due to the fact that OM was out of her life during most of the year. I was enjoying watching her in her misery. Some of you may remember that she got "knocked up" by him and he didn't think it was his. So he pretty much abandoned her during her pregnancy. So she started pursuing me hard. I was brushing her off all year; just waiting for the kid to be born so we could D. She wanted me to raise the kid as my own and put our M back together. I told her that I would not do that; that lying to that girl would back fire years from now. Besides we didn't know how OM would act after she was born.
From those statements you can tell that I didn't really want to D. Once I had told her that we needed to D so I could put the old M behind me; date, get MC, and I needed to see the kid as my stepchild. Then if we could put together after that. But I still brushed it off until the kid was born. At that time I couldn't bring myself to do it; she bought me HDTV for Christmas and was showing a lot attention. We decided on Christmas Eve; before I knew about the TV, to try again. I decided that why D and suffer through all it entails if we really wanted to save it anyway.
So we went through a couple of months. It was good at first. She was making plans for counseling. Shortly thereafter, the battchitt came out. Gaslighting on the MC; going dark during new baby transfers with baby daddy. So I asked God to help guide me; the next day I did something I hadn't done in over 1.5 years. I checked her email. Lo and behold, OM's cellphone crapped out that day and W was emailing him. Pressuring him to take her back. he was having no part of interfering in M; basically told her to make up her mind if she wanted to stay M'd to me or not. If she D'd then he would be interested in dating again. Until then his contact with her would only be in items concerning the kid.
So I laid low and acted normal for the next two weeks. Last night she came to me and said that she had been praying about it. God had told her that she needed to D me. She needs her freedom so that she can work on herself. But we can still hang out and date. I, emphatically, told her in no way was I going to compete for her with OM. That if we D; she wouldn't be someone I'd date anyway. She made a point several times to tell me that she wasn't doing this to rush to him. But this afternoon she changed her FB R status from Married to In a Relationship...battchitt...
So now she's talking about making sure that I don't suffer financially in this. She says she doesn't need alimony and she doesn't want me to have too much CS. She mentioned a 60-40 split with me getting the 60. I told her with that the kids would suffer because I'd likely have to move. She offered to pay most of the remaining debts. At that point she said that she'd go for a "net even" CS deal. I said that's cool so long as the judge buys off on it. She has a bunch of trust fund money. So there's the starting point.
Worst part of all this....I got "hoovered". But I'm better equipped to deal with it, thanks to DB.
Now it's time to start the rest of my life. I'm done with my OhGodNotAgain impersonation!!!
A word of warning. She may say she doesn't want this or that and the money isn't important, but once a lawyer gets involved she'll likely change her tune.
About a month ago W and I sat down to talk about an agreement. I told her the only thing I cared about was having joint physical custody and a smaller child support payment. W makes $10k more a year than I do without a college degree. The insurance industry really pays well.
She agreed as long as she could work something out on the house.
Then I saw the petition and she went back on everything we talked about. The lawyer talked her into going after every dime and now it's going to be long and protracted.
I will say I don't mind it being long and protracted right now. I'm still not ready for this to be over. I still have .01% that hopes she'll break through the wall she's built up.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I am married (not for long) to the male Batchitt crazy. Is there a different word for the male counter part.
Since I am the first girlie here .. I'll take a Cosmo... Yum!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Had a good weekend. S9 had a few friends over for a birthday sleepover and he had a blast. D5 stayed with us and we hunkered down in my bedroom while the boys destroyed the house.
W continues to call once a day and have chit chat. Said yesterday that she isn't sure if she is going to file or not. Said she was still trying sift through her feelings. I'm not buying that. I'm pretty sure that she's done; and just waiting.
I signed up for DC at a local church that starts in Mar 11. She commented that maybe she needs to do the same.
so I listened to the sermon that she said "led her to this decision." Of course, I didn't get the same read from it; sounds like she's bending it to fit her agenda.
OK..so it's her day to pick the kids up off the bus (at my house...she meets the bus at the top of the driveway, doesn't come in)and they stay with her overnight. But S9 tells her that he HAS to stay the night to help me clean. LOL!!
So she invites me for dinner..."since you've got to pick up S9 anyway."
But I'm better equipped to deal with it, thanks to DB.
