Busted again....

[OnceBurdened]

So things were going OK, some signs that this was going to work and then boom, Friday before Valentines Day I got her phone bill. There is an additional phone on it!

I confronted her about it - she lies, says she had gotten it for her sister during her divorce. (I actually knew about the phone and had already asked her sister about it, sis didn't have it and I was waiting and watching) the confrontation ends with her telling me she hates me. Fine, I kept my cool.

Monday, I get a call from OMW says check your phone, I'm sending you something. She photographed caller ID, showing phone # listed w my wifes name coming into her office- OM was calling his soon to be exwife on the cellphone my wife provided to him.

Qwik check of the activation showed that she gave it to him 4 days after the apparent break up. There hadn't been many calls at all but the fact was " she is a liar" again. So I told her- your busted again. Of course she replied your ridiculous. I sent her a copy of the text with the pic of caller id.

The Divorce will be final on March 8th!!!

Good thing I didn't fire attorney.

Now she is begging and pleading again.

These F*rs think they get an unlimited supply of chances.

[crushed_v95]

i realize now that it is often partly our fault that "These F*rs" continually lie and attempt to deceive.

We should have set and enforced our own boundaries long ago.

Better now to cut these people loose than continue to live with them acting this way, however.

[luvless]

Now she is begging and pleading again.

These F*rs think they get an unlimited supply of chances.

I'm telling you!!

oh and BTW - I don't believe it's our fault at all..it's just WHO we married.

[OnceBurdened]

I did drop off the board for awhile and I have to admit something that I struggle with...

When all this came down I released alot of anger on a punching bag and a wall!

I have never physically abused my wife or children but my garage is a wreck. Now with that being said, My D11 asked me what was wrong, during the bout that insued after recieving the text -I was in a fury and said " Your M has a boyfriend, she has since the middle of summer and many of the things you have heard and seen are because of it. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you it means she doesn't love me. I am going to take care of it as qwikly as I can, so this stops."

D11 was upset and did call her M. Of course W says I screwed up big time and could have ruined D11 life forever by telling her bad things about W. I spent a couple of hard days in solitary confinement over that.

THAN FIL calls- and he wants to know how it's going since his attempted intervention 5 weeks ago. I tell him the whole thing.

His response - " let her sink all the way to the bottom and don't help her, what you told your D11 was the truth was it not? Than my D can't handle the truth. If I was you I'd fight for total custody of those kids, kick my D's ass to the curb and say see ya. I know she is my D but you deserve better and I know for damn sure my grandchildren deserve better than a mother whom lies, cheats and cannot embrace forgiveness and a chance to make right."

My only BURDEN as it is right now is that - My kids and part time visitation basically. SUX!

[GH31]

i realize now that it is often partly our fault that "These F*rs" continually lie and attempt to deceive.

Huh?

I'm confused.

Whatever happened to individual responsibility?

GH31

[GH31]

So things were going OK, some signs that this was going to work and then boom, Friday before Valentines Day I got her phone bill. There is an additional phone on it!

Mate, this sucks.

I'm very sorry, but not surprised, to hear it.

There hadn't been many calls at all but the fact was " she is a liar" again.

Grrr....

So I told her- your busted again. Of course she replied your ridiculous. I sent her a copy of the text with the pic of caller id.

Grrr....

When all this came down I released alot of anger on a punching bag and a wall!

Been there and done that too mate.

The other I smashed the lock/handle mechanism on a bedroom door because my wife still has pictures and DVDs of her OM and trips they took together.

Never was that kind of fella before.

My D11 asked me what was wrong, during the bout that ensued after recieving the text -I was in a fury and said " Your M has a boyfriend, she has since the middle of summer and many of the things you have heard and seen are because of it. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you it means she doesn't love me. I am going to take care of it as qwikly as I can, so this stops."

You did the right thing.

Your daughter will know the truth eventually whatever happens. It's so much better that you told her yourself whilst at the same time emphasising that she's loved by her parents.

The Divorce will be final on March 8th!!!

Good.

Now she is begging and pleading again.

No surprises there.

What is this begging and pleading making you want to do? There may be a lesson for other DBers here.

Stay strong OnceBurdened.

GH31

[4luv]

sorry to hear that onceburdened. I never commented on your stitch but had been following and was hoping that your wife had her self together. at least you got stronger through all of this and will be the stable parent that your children need. It is amazing how selfish people can be and not have any control over the decisions they make that not only affect them but also the people in their lives.

[OnceBurdened]

What is this begging and pleading making you want to do? There may be a lesson for other DBers here.

GH31

You know GH it's a test everyday with this W. I am committed to D. She has had enuff opportunities to choose me and our M. She has chosen something else.


She has broken down again and again, begging for just a seperation now to get her head together, she has actually stated " See you will never believe" . WTF

ANYWAY - Her choices have led to my choice.

[jasper67]

Sorry to hear about the coaster- I agree you did the right thing w/ D11.

My sitch is as messy as it comes and a D is almost certain. Keep your head up and do what's best for you. If she wants to keep second guessing- let her- but dont let that effect you and what is best for you.

I think Robx said it best - I will not tolerate lies in my life...

My WAW is the best and worst liar I have ever seen- the key to being a good liar is only telling a few lies- she does not- she lies about everything now so it's easy to tell

take care

[OnceBurdened]

We should have set and enforced our own boundaries long ago.

Oh I set boundaries it was the consequences that weren't I geuess harsh enough for them not to be recrossed again, and again, and again..

But at the same time I found out who she was and now I go into D court with no reservations. So the consequences of the boundary crossing did at least reveal that.