Is forgiveness impossible?

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I have a few post going around but thoguht I'd try in here for a WAW's viewpoints.

W and I have been separated for 4 months now. She left b/c she felt rejected in M b/c we didn't have an active sexlife.

We wanted to meet yesterday to talk and she started by saying we should see a counsler to draw up a post marriage agreement.

I agree with her decision then talk for awhile,

During our convo I said to her she needs to forgive me before any progress can be made. She has her defenses up and she's not accepting some changes I have made.

Any WAWs out there who forgave their LBH?

What can I do to show her I deserve to be forgiven??

[dday101798]

What can I do to show her I deserve to be forgiven??

Easy. Change your mindset entirely.

[*KS*Chick*]

Hola!

I think you need to show her by your actions that you're sorry.

Telling her she should or needs to forgive you....won't work. Have you gone out on dates at all?

Honestly the littlest things can mean the most. A phone call to check on her. Actions. It's all about your actions and she will be judging them. All of them. Hang in there.

BTW "what can I do to show her I deserve to be forgiven?" kind of bugs me. Why do you deserve to be forgiven?

Show her.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I was trying the little things to show her I am changing.

Some Things I thought she might notice.

1.When she was sick I made her home made chcken noodle soup so she could feel better.

2. When she was sick she asked if she could drop the kids off early so she could get rest. I offered to pick up the kids so she would have to go out in the cold.

3. I am going to counseling by and for myself.

There are others too.

As for "why I should be forgiven" - maybe used the wrong word here.

She still has her Wall up against me and is having trouble letting me back in her life.

Obviously we do not date yet, But I would like to get there soon.

I guess I;ll know when the time is right to ask her.
Right now doesn't seem to be a good idea.

She has issues she needs to work onas do I. I guess once we have gone to IC for some time we could start talking about it.

I will not give up, She may defeat me, but I will never give up!

[gr8 day 2B alive]

DDAy,

What do you mean about mind set?

[*KS*Chick*]

hi Gr8,

I think the things you've done are good steps. The key is keeping them up. Look for ways to do little things for her. Do you have the kind of schedule where you could meet up for lunch sometime?

[dday101798]

DDAy,

What do you mean about mind set?

AS you just responded to KS, you are doing this all wrong.

The changes, ARE FOR YOU, not for your W, not for her to feel comfortable with you.

Once you change FOR YOU and become comfortable in your own skin and not being your W's doormat, she'll respect you again enough to want to be with you again.

The list of things you posted up as an example of your "changes" would have been great when you were happily married. But you're here, you're not happily married anymore and need to realize that, that type of behavior is just pushing her out even more!

[gr8 day 2B alive]

KS,

We do not have a good schedule that allows us to meet for lunch.. Saturday would be the only possibilty.
I thought about that, I know diiner is too big of a step for now.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Thanks DDAY.

maybe that list should have been title 180s instead of changes.

Change is hard but possible. I will look harder to make self changes instead of 180's.

[*KS*Chick*]

dday is also right. the changes you make should be for you, and should be because you've realized you should have done those things before. they should also be changes you will have no problem keeping permanent.

I agree dinner might be too much right now but maybe a light-hearted lunch?