FORMER THREAD... VALENTINES DAY COMING!!.. not sure how to attach the other thread..
My worst day and finally hit rock bottom. I tried db and nc. Probably didn't give it enough time and may regret this. Last night I told her that the day has come. It's over, I told her we are to go our separate ways. Told her that I will make an appointment with the bank to separate everything. Open separate bank accounts etc. I also told her that was not leaving because this was not something I wanted. It's her choice. Kids stay here untill we figure this out. She said that I should go. Told her no. It's not my choice to leave. It happened so fast. Now what !!! I don't want this but as I told her don't want to sleep with a person who doesn't love me back. Told not to sleep in same bed. I know she is scared as am I. I don't know if this was the right thing. I hope this was an awakening for her. We did this very civil. No harsh words or high voice. Basically 50 /50. I can't believe it. I am numb. She wanted this. Told me this. I said I must let you go. I let her know that the window has a crack open. I told her it's about me and the kids now.
I recieved advice from here, and now we see.. Really. Now what
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
Its been over a year of my patience.. and I just couldnt take it anymore.. Advice not from here... I just listened to her and its what she wanted... I just couldnt keep going with the pretend part.. It hurt too much..
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
sgctxok.. Go to my other thread VALENTINES DAY COMING>> I WANT TO KEEP 1 THREAD..
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
Today will no doubt be a bit rough. I was wondering Cesco, if SHE wanted out, why did she give you the divorce b book?
It seems to me that she might be saying what I said to my W of 11 yrs: I can't imagine life this way till death and beyond, but I think it doesn't have to be this way either.
In the end, I essentially forced my W to go for counselling. To prove that I also understood our M was my 'fault', too, I've been going. Her counselling starts (finally) next week, but who knows what will happen. It is possible your W is afraid that in IC she'll feel like giving up as she goes through problems she has with you.
Either way, as sgctxok/others on your old post are hinting at, you might be making things very hard to repair by letting your emotions run you. PERHAPS, just perhaps, this is what your W is talking about being wrong in your M.
I highly suggest you get yourself out of R talks with your W, and get yourself to a IC. Book in 3 sessions or more this month, plan for the long haul. A divorce costs a lot more than counselling...
I'm saying this knowing my M might not be savable, and that I am driving this process more than my W. Still, I'm committed for me, for my kids, and lastly for my W, to try to make a R with her. That means a better me. That also means (for me) I need a better her. That can't happen by reacting to my emotions - not that I don't, but I'm learning to curb and control my reactions...to make them responses.
I hope this post helps you. If you get it today, WHY NOT buy a present and flowers. It CANNOT hurt to do it, I think, because you just started the D process.
