She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[LSG]

Take it one day at a time. Keep GALing for yourself and your kids.

[g450]

Ouch. Sounds like she is trying to torture you.

I feel for you man. Just hang in there and remember what I posted earlier. No matter what happens, good or bad, things will get better in time.

Hell I just went on my first real date. Imagine that.

[tbart01]

I knew it would be hard once I saw her, but I didn't realize it would be this hard.

I just realized that in reality what she did today was walk out on her family. I know she left the kids with me, but she still just walked away. She turned and walked away from them.

My D14 was so upset that my W wasn't her that she had to call her. My D14 sat in the backyard talking to my W while crying because mom wasn't here. That would have to speak to even the coldest of hearts wouldn't it?

I'm just at a loss for words. I have no idea how I'm going to sleep in this house tonight, let alone in our bed. I'm literally sickened by all of this.

[g450]

I know that feeling. First night I got zero sleep. And this is after working all night (night shift).

Sleeping pills can be your friend but just do not get hooked on them.

[Surviving03]

hey tbart... glad you made it back safely...

The first few days for you are going to be HELL... no sugar coating that... this might start to feel like a bomb all over again dealing with this all now in this new environment... but all of this stress and hurt will pass, take it one day or even one moment at a time...

HIDE that hurt though in front of your wife though tbart... always remember your DB skills... its hard to do.. and you will slip up sometimes but the sooner you can get in the routine the better...

Focus on your girls and yourself and remember this : Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

[tbart01]

Obviously I didn't do much sleeping last night. I think that was the loneliest night of my life. It just doesn't feel right being in this house without her or being in the bed without her next to me.

It just boggles the mind how she could do this to the kids. My D4 is confused and D14 is beside herself. I'm doing my best to comfort her, but she's old enough to understand.

This hurts like hell, and I'm letting myself suffer for it. I want her back in the house with us where she belongs.

[Surviving03]

yup... you are right, it is where she belongs... you know it, your girls know it... but W doesnt know it... not yet anyways.

Tbart... keep your head up... know that your wife does not make or break you... know that she does not have the power to make you sad and miserable... I know that you realizing this fully will come at your own pace, but the sooner you can start believing these things the better... TRUST ME. Let me tell you something.. as everyone has addressed here already, a woman needs a strong, powerful man... there is no dignity in begging for someone who doesnt want to be with you... there IS dignity in wanting to save your marriage, but PLEASE dont let your emotions take over your DB skills and show in front of wife...or even in front of the girls for that matter... they can report things back to wife. Now, there is a fine line between looking like you just dont care, and looking like you are strong enough to handle this and you are going to be fine. Find that balance... and own it. It really is the best thing you can do to GAL and focus on you and your daughters and let wife worry about the divorce... it will save your sanity... and it just might be what it takes to bring W back to you...

I know you know all these things... but I know it takes reminding sometimes when you are feeling real low... dont give up hope

[peace2u]

Welcome HOME!!! Glad you made it home safely.

I'm sorry its rough right now.

I can't imagine leaving like your W did. It would break my heart...which is prob. the #1 reason I'm still in my house.

But Surviving is right on....don't let her see you sweat. It's going to be really hard...but don't. Take any and all focus off her right now.

If you need to meltdown or show emotion...leave the house or shut yourself in the bathroom til you gain composure, and vent to us.

Move forward with you and your girls. I have a D14 too...I can relate how hard it must be. Give it a few days and re-evaluate the sitch.

Thinkin of ya.

[tbart01]

My W came over today to bring me my phone charger. Somehow as we were staring at each other not knowing what to say we got on the conversation of the R.

I was wanting to make some financial decisions that she didn't want me to do yet. Then I told her I didn't want to do this. She asked me if I understand why she wanted to it. I told her I realized the way she felt but didn't completely understand.

She spent allot of time crying, and we went back and forth on how we each felt. After I while I told her that I wanted to be her strength and shoulder to lean on. She told me she didn't need strength just someone to talk to. I told her I was here go ahead and talk.

She talked to me for a good long while just talking about her other than R issues. I never offered any advice, just listened and gave response when warranted.

After more crying by her I asked her if she wanted a hug and she shook her head yes. I went over and held her for about 5 minutes while she continued to talk to me.

She was again happy to see that we weren't arguing. I told her that I had already assured her I wouldn't argue. By the end of our talk she said that maybe if we continue to talk like that she'll be able to trust me. I assume she meant trusted that I'm for real and not fake.

My children still don't understand why mom isn't home, but I'm just trying to be there for them. I had a very long talk with my D to try and get her to open up and talk about things. It was a very good talk, and she knows she can talk to me.

I still hold on to hope,but we all know how these things can turn. I just need to continue doing what I'm doing and see what the future holds. For now, I'm really enjoying being with my daughters. We're having fun together and D14 is being very helpful. I still wish the house wasn't missing someone.

[mza8]

tbart01,

I've been following your sitch. Thank you for your service and welcome home!

Sounds like your W needed and got a lot off of her shoulders today. It was probably a relief for her. I think you did a great job of just listening to her. Not always easy for us guys, we want to fix the problem. The fact that you listened seems to have meant a lot to your W. She told you she was happy by your actions and that this could lead to more trust. Yes, I agree with you that she meant trust that your are real and not fake.

Today's conversation with your W could be the beginning to more open communication. As they say, slow and steady.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm pulling for you.

Best,
mza8