It isn't the therapists job to tell someone what to do....good therapists help people make changes in themselves so they will realize those types of things on their own. He obviously has a long way to go if he is living with one woman and trying to move straight into a relationship with another....kind of like what he did in your marriage right?!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Yes, antlers, people do screw up big time.. After months of intense therapy, he's realized a few things. It continues to amaze me, though, that a therapist wouldn't say "run like he!! away from that relationship which was built upon lies!
Suzy - He is still living w/OW and yes, wanting to see if we can possibly work things out and if not, seems like he's going to stay with her. I don't even get that way of thinking. I'm sure OW has NO idea that things aren't perfect in her little fantasy world.
Sounds like you're unsure, understandably! I wouldn't count on his mindset of "I want to be with you, but if it doesn't work out, then I'll stay with her"!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
He obviously has a long way to go if he is living with one woman and trying to move straight into a relationship with another....kind of like what he did in your marriage right?!
Exactly the way I look at it except that I refuse to be the slimy person who sneaks around. If he wants to be with me, it will all be out in the open. Obviously, I feel like I need to be very cautious. This isn't the first time he's approached me about possibly working things out but I have always blown it off. Not sure why I even want to discuss it now...
Last edited by Savannah5; 02/07/1001:47 PM.
Married 12 years 2 Children Bomb 6/2007 Divorced 8/2009
I can't believe this has been going on for two months!
We've discussed reconciling but here's the problem: I'm in a REALLY good place being on my own right now. My life has finally settled down and I am once again excelling at work. Life is good and I question the sanity of wanting to invite XH back into my life. Although, I do think it is better for our children to be a "complete" family, it is not better for them to be in the midst of the craziness of infidelity. I guess I'm still on the fence... Trying to decide on good boundaries... What to do?? What to do?? Can I really ever forgive??
What have others done regarding family who now HATE X for what he/she has done?? That is a big problem for me. My parents absolutely despise him!
Married 12 years 2 Children Bomb 6/2007 Divorced 8/2009
